Yesterday, Today and Now

Yesterday
Took myself on an Artist's Date
Full Moons on silk almost escaped
My feet moving
Too fast ...
Should have been a clue
But I was too busy
Chewing Mac nuts and banana
While I watched
The Bugaboo Boy all growed up
Buff out his Candy Apple Red Mustang
While the tiny blonde girl preened his back,
And the Produce Guy bowed in prayer position

Today
The Market Routine
And a frenzy of worries
Spun me into a
Trip, and fall while on my way to flowers
On hands and knees I thought,
"Oh shit!"
But there was life left and
Sparrow caught in a rodent's trap said,
"You think you've got trouble."
The wherewithall helped me
spring the trap and Sparrow called,
"Freedom!"
Team MCS brought me
Ice Packs and tenderness
Ice
Rest
Tears
Trust
A walker
Ribs bruised and wrapped tight in a shawl
Now the rain falls
Turning the dry, dry grass
Musty wet.

Now

"To be up to date, you’ve got to move past what’s usual. Anything that’s chugging along on old tracks is ripe for a shakeup." - Satori writing about this week

That's all. The last blast. Now for LUNCH.

Improvisational Life: "Riffing"

"... I judged what I had played (as wrong). Miles (Davis) didn't." - Herbie Hancock

If I could redo parts of my life, I would.

Which parts would that be?

Well to start, I'd sit on that old piano bench and let Ma teach me to play the piano.

In my young memory, and those that I have hoarded until now, it was my mother's impatience that turned me off to being taught . Maybe that was true. But, it's also more than possible I was the impatient one and rather than staying put I moved on; with little faith in making music part of my magic that gift would pass to my son, instead. His music is with the strings, and his voice, but I have a vivid memory of him sitting with his Tutu Lady on a piano bench.

I chewed up that judgment and impatience and swallowed it down, down, down. Fortunately, time has been kind to me and I have opportunities to improvise with that old chord. If you follow the link embedded in "Herbie Hancock"   you'll find a wonderful thread of conversation, social media-style. One of the magnificent examples of what those platforms can offer in the world of communication because someone began riffing, tinkering with the mathematical formulas that turns x's and o's (or is it pluses and minuses?) ON or OFF. I'm slow and infrequent in my use of social media, but a rabid blogger and a grateful benefactress because some of my friends play the broad social media game.

The video my friend Steve shared on Facebook is turning switches on for me. I feel my internal train- works switching tracks. Applying the principles and examples of music in my life Faith has a place in my life. I wait. I sit on the bench. I play with situations that come up, and see how to use Beginner's Mind (or call it what you wish) to tinker.

Years ago I began a writing practice using the books of Julia Cameron, starting with her classic The Artist's Way.  I filled dozens of wide-ruled notebooks with long hand written Morning Pages, three-pages at a time. I took myself on weekly Artist's Dates and began consciously including a long walk to complete the Cameron committment to creativity. The practice works, just as I learned while I was in the rooms of Al-Anon, if you work it.

Cameron's influence, along with Natalie Goldberg's Wild Mind helped me develop my writing practice and years of blogging, dozens of medicine stories, and a live storytelling venue have grown from that investment though I don't consistently write three hand-written pages first thing every morning. But, as a gift to me, and my North Node in Taurus, I began the full deal practice again on September 1st. I'm investing in my inner resources, remember to build my self-esteem from the inside rather than looking outside for that energy.

This post is a expression of my Culture of Gratitude. Yes, it is important to be grateful for the gifts that come unbidden. Like the presents of Hawk, Pueo, Raven, Gravenstein apples and Walnuts, Swallows and Hens, Clouds, Stars, Sun, Moon and Wind there is abundance if I just start with them before noting the lacks and the losses. And, to Steve and JT, a big mahalo for the gifts you offered in "stretching the envelope" ahead of the curve and before I knew how big and long-lasting they would prove to be. Today is a great day to sit on the bench and improvise a good life with what comes up.

Mahalo nui!
Mokihana

Massaging the North Node in Taurus (Mine)

"... You may feel tired of journeying all around the world, or even your environment, to search for a true feeling of self-esteem, currency, empowerment, and self-value. All these things, in your past, came from without yourself, and thus if they were taken away, could give you a sense of dis-empowerment..." Interpretation of the North Node in Taurus

Yesterday was Labor Day in America. I am married to a Class One, real kind, long-time laborer and I was born to a family of labor with a heavy equipment operator (bulldozer) father. It does not escape my awareness, this labor-connection, that led me to partner with a man who knows how to work.

Almost ten years ago Pete and I had finished building a small wagon we imagined was possible and with many details to research and physically put together we had a new beginning. A real home was created. Over those years I have written many, many blogs and blog posts to describe the physicality and emotion journey of life in a wheeled home living with long-term illness. Yesterday, between weeks of smoke-filled skies, a break in the challenges gave us a window of opportunity to re-fresh and re-paint our sweet home.

The quote that begins this post comes from a new writer on the astrology blog ElsaElsa. The writing is one of twelve posts focused on the North Nodes throughout the astrological signs of the zodiac. Regular readers to my blogs know I am a life-time student of astrology and weave what I am learning and applying to life into much of what I blog. 

Massaging the North Node in Taurus is what's happening for me today. The insight and clarity provided in this article is golden. I appreciate the fresh approach to a topic I have long studied. Unlike the study of celestial bodies: the planets, the sun's placement, the moon's placement and the relationship (angles of ease or challenge/aspects) between them; the Nodes of the Moon are a mathematical point. To those of us who study astrology as a life navigational tool, the Nodes offer a spiritual element to growing, and I enjoy the potential that comes from considering the possibilities offered through interpretation.

"What to make of the astrological North Node? First, let’s talk about the technical parts of the astrological North Node. The North Node is not a planet. And, it is not a house, such as the twelve astrological houses that were set up. It is a mathematical point where the moon’s orbit intersects with the ecliptic. The same can be said of a person’s South Node sign. To simplify, your North Node is in the opposite sign, and house, of your South Node." (Click here to read more.)

As we physically walk into the newest September, here on the Prairie Front, a helpful bit of guidance comes my way and I find a place to patch a physical or emotional puka a hole, a tear, a missing piece in my self-worth. It's so important at this stage of our growth to recognize how resource-FILLED I am, how my effort in the everyday builds my esteem. 

Anonymoushermit continues her interpretation on the North Node in Taurus with, "Your confidence, self-value, and ‘currency’, will be better off coming from yourself, and your own hard work, rather than from someone else’s hard work. Someone else’s value cannot replace yours. You are you, and other people can’t compare. This is precisely where your state of mind needs to be. There is a need to realize that although someone may be a faster runner than you, they can’t fix a car the way you do. You need to realize that everyone has value, especially yourself. Even if someone was multi-talented, it doesn’t take away the fact that you are a useful, valuable, human being. You are useful to somebody, a place, or a movement.

Work is a must in this lifetime..."

When we chose to use milk paint from  Homestead House Paint there was so much to learn about finding, using and making adjustments to the process of living chemical-free and toxic-free. The challenges, the learning have tempered me: I had to apply what I researched into practical application. The picture above is the paint mixing (my job) necessary to make Pete's work of brushing the mixture onto the wall flow. Working in slippers (those are my short little toes up above) and Pete in barefeet must have given a grounding effect because the wagon glows golden!

An old Osterizer blender with a thick glass cannister, bags of milk paint stored and toted around with us, a long old bamboo stick for stirring, and a pot of room temperature water, a sunny day, and two long-seasoned makua make the most of Labor Day, 2018.

The wall Pete worked on was the most exposed surface: a wet and wind-swept winter battered this wall, removing almost all the beeswax that was rubbed into a dried milk painted wagon. It was necessary to get a fresh coat of paint, and soon a layer of beeswax on before the season shifts to cold and wet again. A light sanding before Pete painted along with masking the edges of the window trim was part of the prep-work.

This is probably a couple hours later. Pete kept going till all the milk paint I mixed was gone while I took myself out of the sun and into the kitchen to get dinner going.

A clean plate that was filled with beautiful roasted locally-grown root vegetables and salmon dinner with a pot of wild rice and short-grain brown rice stirred with slices of kale, a side of fresh avocado and a freshly picked Italian plum. A hearty meal for the laborers. A meal I loved making.

"I wanna know what you're going to call your restaurant?" Pete asked as we cleaned up from supper.

Without skipping a beat I answered, "The Safety Pin Cafe." 

"Of course," nodded Pete.

In the conclusion of the astrological interpretation that began this post, the writer suggests: "North Node in Taurus may ask you to be practical and realistic. If you do get rich in this lifetime, it will be from your own hands. Take care of the mundane, every day, things. You must learn to love yourself even if you aren’t as tall, rich, beautiful, or ingenious, as others... One lesson of North Node in Taurus is to value oneself, as oneself. Not to change oneself to make others value you more. ‘I am me, nothing more, nothing less.’

I feel that Taurus North Node relaxing into herself. I remember to exhale as I edit this piece, listening to the banging hammer (Pete's) working on the storage shed that needs to be patched before the winter rains. At the same time the South Node in Scorpio is calmed of her natal intensity and I appreciate the work I do here at the keys to paint the pictures of life from that small golden wagon of mine. It's ours, that wagon and the work of making a life from it is equally the work that I do.

A massage, now that sounds good, feels good. Would love a real hands-on one, it's been a long time.


Where is your North Node? Do you consider it in your life navigation?