Thursday, November 16, 2017

A birthday wish ... for the rest of my life

What do you want for your birthday?
"Many people shy away from community out of a fear that it may become suffocating, confining, even vicious," Sanders adds; "and of course it may, if it grows rigid or exclusive. A healthy community is dynamic, stirred up the energies of those who already belong, open to new members and fresh influences, kept in motion by the constant bartering of gifts. It is fashionable just now to speak of this open quality as 'tolerance,' but that word sounds too grudging to me -- as though, to avoid strife, we must grit our teeth and ignore whatever is strange to us. The community I desire is not grudging; it is exuberant, joyful, grounded in affection, pleasure, and mutual aid...Taking part in the common life means dwelling in a web of relationships , the many threads tugging at you while also holding you upright." - Scott Russell Sanders

That would be my answer. 

In spite of or because of the unexpected, abrupt, and traumatic episodes associated with chronic-illness, the journey is beyond imagination and simultaneously fueled by our imaginations. At times the only way through a particularly troublesome, painful, disjointed experience is rest, quiet, isolation. Terri Windling writes: "One of the strange things about a long-term medical condition is the abruptness with which it can overturn your life. Most of the time it simmers quietly in the background, folded into the rhythm of the days, time-consuming and annoying perhaps, but also familiar, under control. That control is entirely illusory, however, for bodies are complicated things and don't always act in the prescribed ways that medical textbooks say they should. And when they don't, there isn't always a clear and demonstrable reason why. One day you're just like everyone else: doing your work, paying your bills, making plans as though the future is ordered and predictable; and the next day you're flat on your back. Again. Feeling like Charlie Brown the umpteenth time Lucy pulls the damn football away..."

But there are other times when being with others is the juice of life that makes for the balance. I am awake and seated at the counter of the newly transformed Spider Web Kitchen on my 70th birthday morning. I have drunk two cups of peppermint tea with honey, and nibbled my way through treats left by a certain spider (who snoozes under the covers at the moment). The roar of commuter traffic is well underway. Out from the woods we have exchanged the quiet of forest and mold for the openness of prairie and highway noise. A cup of that for a dose of this ... you know the reciprocal element.

I wish for myself and my community the web of threads that both keeps us connected and supported while allowing room to wander off to our corners to tuck in for solitary times of restoration. The kitchen clock ticks, I hear it between the sound of rubber on wet pavement. My birthday has begun. Hot damn ... let the music of the day sing on~~

Thank you for reading my blog and being part of our web!!
xo Mokihana

P.S. And other practical wishes for my birthday?

- red rubber boots (being supplied by Tita Wise)
- a big bag of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda (anyone a Costco shopper?)
- Brown Butter & Coconut cookies from the Flower House Cafe in Bayview
- birthday apple pie (Yes, I'd love it Jude!)
- beach walks 
- moon gatherings on the Prairie Front
- fragrance free visitations for tea and company

And pics added to ...

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

`Aha Update: Exchanging currency

I'm an Elsa P. fan, a long-time reader and client who found Elsa Panizzon's blog when Pete and I were living in a kitchen while we built our vardo. A blog was new to me in 2008 but astrology has been a long-time interest for me. There was something I was looking for when we lived in that kitchen in White Center. Everything I thought I knew for sure didn't fit, rules for 'success' no longer worked nor made any sense. I booked my first email consultation with Elsa sometime in 2008. She wrote to me with this recommendation, "Sounds like a Neptune thing. (watery). The tide comes in. The tide goes out. You don't have any friends. (tide's out) People don't understand you ... so, you might as well float!" Ha?
The kitchenette in White Center

Pete working inside the vardo in the winter, 2008

At the time that advice offered my deep water Scorpio sensibilities a transcendent solution. It was not specific, but, I understood how important it is to float in water where you can't just stand up! While we made our way through the learning curve of understanding Environmental Illness, and researched how to build something never quite done before, Elsa's advice has sustained me ... I understand more than ever how important remembering to float is. The small wagon life requires a lot of floating as structures and boundaries keep changing. We envisioned being in a warm climate for winter -- Hawaii was our goal. Instead of Hawaii, we're living on a prairie on Whidbey Island where it's not warm but we are warm enough because we are exchanging resources with people who see the value of our 'currency.'

Two weeks ago tonight, we secured what travels in Vardo for Two and headed onto the Prairie Front. Just minutes ago Pete and I had a bowl of red cabbage with mushrooms and rice with chicken drumsticks for dinner. We ate that meal seated on chairs in what I have begun to call The Spider Web Kitchen. A transformed version of the South Whidbey Tilth's Dancing Cat Cafe is now being shared with us.

Here are a few pics of the shared resource of a space. We are warming things up, making it cozy, and finding ways to respect the faith people have in our currency.

A violet towel and a length of fabric double up to keep a draft blowing through the French door from chilling the kitchen.

Pete hung a length of conduit across the space the creates two spaces in the whole kitchen. From that conduit we have hung the blanket and woolen fabric used again and again in other spaces/kitchens from White Center to the woods of Langley

A second violet blanket covers one of the kitchen windows for warmth and privacy. We have cleared and begun to occupy the counter tops with our kitchen chattel, tucking the Tilth's kitchen into corners or in cubbies that can easily be pulled from their nooks.

Window looking south

This is the entry into the Spider Web Kitchen with a few mats to cushion your steps on the cold hard cement and the cotton rug we have used in our old Quonset left for Eileen and Mary in the woods of Forest Lane.

A closeup of the bells, beads and dancing cat dangling from the center of the spider web in the kitchen
Exit ... evidence of rain that has been coming from the south

I've learned a lot by reframing the meaning of 'currency.' Coming to value my quirky brand of currency, it makes life so much more interesting to find places and people attracted to this sort of community-economy. Just enough. In the nick of time. Use things up. Share. Work in trade. Again and again. Give and take.

What currency attracts you?

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

'Aha Update: Like Spider (Stringing a copper web)

"As we enter the White Picket Gate, we must shift our allegiances from fear to curiosity, from attachment to letting go, from control to trust, and from entitlement to humility." 
- The Second Half of Life, Angeles Arrien

We have been on the Prairie Front for one week. In twenty-four hours the winds shift often; the weather patterns are more dramatic because a full sky and its reciprocal 'aina land below it is perceivable. Wide vistas, open space. From the vardo we kilo observe, and record, what we see and experience; that's part of the excitement of this move. Applying our practices we are kept childlike in our approaches to the challenges.

When we started the Front Porch 'Aha in July there was a dream wanting to be made real. The hope was to go back to Hawaii before another winter season began; we gave it our all for five months and shared the dream and the process with you. What a process. The possibility that we do go back is being tempered with reality. Maybe we need to allow more time? Maybe the goal needs to be adapted?

Instead of a warmer winter in the tropics, we are making use of our spider senses. Literally pulling strong lengths of copper passed to Pete from a very special friend, Loretta, who got the copper coil from her father, to create a web for warming up the South Whidbey Tilth kitchen.

Pete worked the high ground and I stood below him for several hours yesterday afternoon. In between the stringing of copper, documenting the project and imagining how to reuse the lengths of cloth and old cotton pique shower curtains I chopped and filled the big soup pot with broccoli, celery, carrots, mushrooms and mushroom broth and wild rice (thank you Margaret!); seasoned three chicken thighs with Italian seasoning, and added a hand's length sprig of fresh rosemary for dinner. As soup simmer outside, we played spider!

Moving INTO the kitchen was a major bit of progress after a week of cooking outside during the strong south wind and rain storms. We were able to ferret out the lingering smell that stopped us from believing we could occupy the kitchen: it was coming from the drains; accumulated buildup leaving an 'essential oil' smell that we worked clear by filling the sinks with water, baking soda and distilled white vinegar in many repeated 'flushes.'

Being inside the kitchen with spider senses activated, the years and experience of creating the original Safety Pin Cafe aka the Quonset were being triggered. In a good way. Since we built Vardo for Two, we have made many adjustments with the help of our animal senses and our imaginations.

April, 2008 Our first landing spot in Tahuya, WA ... first outdoor kitchen setup
A birthday in The Quonset one year in the woods of Langley
(the Quonset is the real-life inspiration for the medicine story The Safety Pin Cafe)
As I write from the vardo, I know that it's possible I will lose the internet connection here and make the best of the time that things do connect. Pete is down in the kitchen making adjustments to how we can proceed or amend our plan to insulate the ceiling and attend to the smells that might harm.

We run into neighbors and friends while we are out and about on shopping errands and they ask: "Are you all moved in? Saw you parked up the road. Gonna stay there? Let me know when you go to Hawaii ... want your truck." (some know we have moved onto the Prairie); others say, "I'm glad to see you. Thought you might have moved?" We say we have been trying, but haven't. They wish us well and say they're glad we're still here and are we open to invitations for tea?

The short video catches Pete stuffing the web with our many times used cotton pique shower curtains into a billow of a lowered ceiling. We aren't sure the cotton sails will stay, but, we love the feel of the spider web tent. We'll check with our Prairie Peeps about the tent... and keep you posted.

xoxo Mokihana and Pete

Friday, November 3, 2017

Out of the woods

"...Friday night’s late full moon culminates just past 12 degrees. The Taurus Moon moves through full into trine with Juno and Pluto. The Sun will follow in sextile to both over the course of a few days. Something we strongly desired is ending. The natural consequence is a new cycle of commitment rising from the ashes to change everything.
Let go so your palm is open and empty… to grasp what comes next.."- This Weekend by Satori

Those-Who-Watch say ... 
There was an agreement made though the details are sketchy. If one has the eyes and practice with star medicine the signatures were there to be interpreted; if not those who knew them here and there, and there, see the clues. His insolence. Her writing. His writing. Her jutting jaw.

Who were involved with the agreement? Some of the very ancient ones born before their parents  shook the bones and drank hootch or liliko'i cocktail while placing bets about passing on the traits. That Eighth House of hers is packed with action monitored over time, ferocity controlled; the chickens come home (to reckon that Eighth House) after her seventieth birthday. He has got all that quirky Gemini thinking mixed in with his mothering Cancerian Sun.

What did you expect?

We woke with a new level of awareness this morning: we are out of the woods! Yesterday's weather and the discombuberation that came from it. Whew. But we made it through and the morning's sun peeled himself through the dense ao pua'a the thick black clouds.

Many of the trees had most of their leaves blown free, and like our woody cousins some of our attachments had loosened, too. We have lots to learn to become mauliauhonua intimates with this prairie land. The birds are just recognizing we are here when they come for breakfast. The winds are sniffing at us from north and south and the directions in between wondering just what we stuff we are made of.

New rituals and longer walks between here and there will be great for my too-dumpling-round body. Getting used to the many changes is exciting and challenging. We have to level off, learn how to cook differently, organize ourselves differently, and remember to keep asking permission of the land and all those who live here. Remembering we are not the dominate species will keep us humble; I'm pretty sure that was in the original agreement.

Mahalo na 'aumakua all our ancestors and that includes all of you who began this this 'Aha with us!
xoxo Moki and Pete

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

He puko'a kani 'aina: Step into the void and head for home

Just before midnight I woke from a dream with my uncle who in his nineties is going through the stages of latter-day-childhood (Alzheimer's), and my dad who passed into spirit in the early 1980's. In the dream my uncle was sorting through his choices, taking action and generally being light -- not heavy as he appeared to me during much of my life growing up. My dad's presence in the dream was represented by his photographs hanging in different places in the room, and in particular one framed picture dangled from the doorway between one room and another. To go between the rooms a person would either hit his photograph or at the very least notice it -- in this dream Dad was not to be ignored.

In real life these two men played different positions on the continuum when it came to being the responsible parent. My dad was a Capricorn bulldozer operator, an earth mover, a former beach boy and a drinker. My uncle was a lawyer, church deacon, judge. When my mom married my father it reset the balance of authority; very different versions of power played through. What I saw in their relationship was a battle of opposites yet both of them were Earth Signs: my uncle is the Fixed Sun sign of Taurus the bull, practical and accumulation-based. Taurus likes their stuff and know how to keep them. Dad was Capricorn Sun, a Cardinal sign, action-oriented and practical also but he valued different goods: stories, pranks and hard work showed on his large creased and red-dirt stained hands. The drinking gene has passed a legacy we still deal with; I watched the judgement about alcohol split my loyalties over the decades, led me into the rooms of Al-Anon and tempers me still as addiction wears many different labels.

Elders -- father figures-- showing up in dreams to leave me with messages about aging, traditions, father roles and responsibility are timely visits. The veil between the physical and spirit is thin. In the waking hours I am offered glimpses of how my uncle's legacy is playing out; these are piecemeal stories I get second hand. The dream time stories transcend the currency of a second hand story and suggest a more permeable medicine story. I was taught to compare values and still struggle with comparing values. But as the veil between the living and dead thins and visits have begun I recognize that the complexity of being a parent/responsible adult is understood in retrospect and that means one has to live to discover meaning.

I shared my dream with Pete and he was hooked, "You needed your dad to show up big time. And he did!" We're about to move. We're getting ready to set up a different version of home, and the issue of shared resources is at the heart of our journey. Our connections with family and community are being redefined. My ears are congested from the change in weather; I hear less external sounds as the tinnitus increased. My father lost his hearing when I was a girl. The affinity between Pete and my dad stems from their common working class laborer root. Hard work. Stories about work. Tinker's talent for making things work and making do. Both these men have a respect for tools -- my father kept his tools from rusting in tins filled with diesel oil, Pete has a beat up old truck (that works) and knows which tool to use for which job. But neither man has an attachment to accumulating surplus.

I'm taking this online class about authority (Capricorn) over time, and aging. The class is heavy and dense with examples of the commitment it takes to be the person you can be. "Getting real" and "growing up" are a couple ways to look at a life being lived to its full capacity. Saturn is involved in this class ... it's all about Saturn priming the goat-in-us-all to climb. Capricorn was born to climb. When I woke from the dream with my uncle and dad, I walked across the parking lot headed to the computer and found the newest installment for my online class.

The installment was written by Satori, and it began with the image pictured above from the movie Howl's Moving Castle created by Hayao Miyazaki. Satori is a master at coupling images with astrological metaphor and narrative. This time her writing described how Saturn pushes on the astrology present in the twelve houses of the zodiac. Through her narrative, the reader and student, can analyze and consider how or if the metaphors apply to our lives. Astrology is not an exact science. What it is in my experience is a applied practice that grows in meaning if used over time. I, like my dad, have Capricorn very present in my makeup. I like the application (Saturn) over time. I also have plenty of water in me with that Scorpio Sun, Mercury, and Chiron that affects EVERYTHING in my makeup. Satori is a Pisces (Water) Sun with a Capricorn Moon she speaks my language and writes metaphor that is my kind of medicine.

The image of Howl's Moving Castle was my connection to the dream (creative) transformation. I mean I just woke up from a dream with two of my main male figures. If I was afraid of stepping out of the woods and into a new version of home, Miyazaki's animated story about stereotypes, power and movement plus a dream with my uncle and father in the same night came to reassure me. Satori offers me and Pete insight into Saturn's transit (the next 2.5 years beginning December). Summarized here, it helps me to put her narrative where I can come back and review it. Combined with dream time and calendar time (we're moving in October, 2017) here is what I've gleaned:

Satori wrote: (as it relates to me) "When Saturn transits Capricorn in the Twelfth House, it can be a daunting realization or a thrilling call to invest in the unknown. Have faith. Take the steps. Commit ... onward and upward. Believe that you can master opening up to the void. Believe you will be supported."
My thoughts:  Daddy and Uncle B. show up to show me what they got, and the dream did a spin on the  the meaning of "investment." I am reinforced with the belief that I am supported. The 12th House is about Spirit, and its also a place where the hidden stories can be expressed creatively for a larger good.

When Saturn transits Capricorn in the First House you begin to take on the characteristics of a responsible adult.  You may even notice your resemblance to a parent.  With this transit, you gain personal wisdom and credibility.  It’s more than skin deep... It settles in your bones.  It also means you’ll be pressed to address results of the physical aging of your body. Work on your appearance and see it pay off long term.
My thoughts: Saturn's 2.5 year transit will work through all of my 12th House and half of my 1st House. I'm in this online class to prepare for my future and aging is real. There are things I need to do for my physical body. I already see how I look more and more like my mother, but the legacy of my father is what shouts to be acknowledged. I bow to the Capricorn, my father, the old Goat, my first love. I would have, and did follow him up many steep climbs and learned to drive seated on an old Caterpillar bulldozer.

As the astrology relates to Pete, Satori wrote: " The fourth house rules family and home.  Capricorn here is a settled home life.  However, that is also something that occurs with time and work. If you’re not there yet, Saturn will be the factor that pushes it through.  It’s time to work on that.  You’ll be pushed slowly over the line.  If you feel deprived of a family or home, now is the time to work toward satisfying this need, at least laying the groundwork.  Saturn here will solidify the choices you make and the work you put into it..."
I speculate on Pete's opportunity: We have been in a 'settled home life' for almost 8 years and are about to move. It's difficult to make this change; we've gotten comfort with the regularity and support. "Laying the groundwork" for a new version of this comfort (believing we could move back to Hawaii) started in July that's not so long ago. We aren't sure we will make this move back to Hawaii but we are sure we need to experiment with a 'next step.' Saturn likes seeing progress!
When Saturn transits Capricorn in the Fifth House it's about love life and babies.  Can you have both?  Together?  How does that look?  Do you even want them both?  You’ll be pressed to focus on these issues.  Babies don’t just come in diapers.  Babies are also art, projects, ideas.  You may be pressed to consider accepting burdens that put a damper on your fun.  You’ll weigh what is worth working toward in that regard.  Sometimes you have to climb the hill before you can slide down it.  This is a more important project and takes more effort.  Will you commit?  
I don't know how to speculate about this one. I heard Pete make this comment to a friend this morning, "We were trying to replace the community we have (here on Whidbey) with a truck!*?" Now that made me, and our friend on the other end of the cellphone laugh with a ring of truth, and irony.

The images below were what we saw the morning before the dreams of elders showed up. I like them all, but especially the seal riding or sliding, home.

isles of limu

i watched this seal climb aboard this chunk of limu, arrange himself for better sun position, catching a ride with the tide before slipping gracefully and silently back into his watery ocean home.

limu sculpting itself on shore

"Incoming limu."

Friday, October 27, 2017

Halloween Giveaway

Ballast. "to give stability to (a ship) by putting a heavy substance in its bilge."

Halloween approaches, a time when many believe the veil between the world of the living and world of the spirit is thinnest; our connect with Ancestors is easier if we wish it so. We are in the Between -- slowly, yet persistently clearing and preparing our Vardo for Two life -- to move from the woods onto the prairie. There is much to do and nothing more to do until its time. Pete and I are recovering from the experience with the Ford 250, looking for the ballast. Life with Environmental Illness is living the Church of What's Happening Now, every day! Pagan at its base, this Church of What's Happening Now sees the holy in everything. This ship of ours is always readjusting its ballast internally and externally. Keeping a blog, like this one, is a ship's log that documents the amazing journey, otherwise who would believe it and I might forget. To keep us upright, sometimes I need to step outside myself to pay a different sort of attention.

A couple years ago a story sprinkled itself to the forest floor, I noticed the scent of it; a benign and powerful scent that could be a proper dose of medicine and enchantment. I loved the characters and their story making themselves present. Some of them were familiar, others were new. Together those characters and I wrote a Halloween medicine story Pine Needle Dancers. 

I have two Halloween Giveaways free for the asking. All you need to do is leave me a comment or email asking for them. Just say: "I'd love the Pine Needle Dancer."

Here's Giveaway #1

This sweet and sacred dancer made from the needles of pine is common magic, tied with three colors of thread, and a button from my motley collection. I added one of my favorite shells as a shield when we cleaned up yesterday. We're letting go, and even the smallest of treasures needs to find new loves. This is the last of my Pine Needle Dancers made for the story, with an added bit of glamour for transitions...I'd love for her to go to someone who will love her,
someone who loves TO DANCE!!!

From tip to toe this Pine Needle Dancer is 7 inches tall.

THE PINE NEEDLE DANCER HAS BEEN CLAIMED!!! She'll be off to Minneapolis to live with our dear friend "Peggy the Cheesehead".

Giveaway #2 Is a (one only) c.d. recording (41 minutes in length) of Pine Needle Dancers ... a reading I did in 2015. This is an unedited recording with a few flubs and do overs left where they are. 

Free shipping (or a hand-to-hand gifting)

 on both giveaways.

Pine Needle Dancers can be read in its entirety online here. I hope you go there to meet and greet the wonderful characters, and the messages of magic at a season when harvests and remembrances can make such a difference!!

A sampling of the Halloween story ... 

"Trees knew the changing ways that were toppling them. Part of the hardening off of their Heartwood had to do with recognizing the Humans who would have their backs so-to-speak. During this season of damp, this new season of rain and cold, the Pines kept track of those who remembered how to care for their hair, and their gifts.
"Needles. We call them Pine Needles," said Larkin's Gran. Larkin was celebrating her fourth birthday in less than ten moon phases. She was Scorpio, and this was her season. Gran Calypso was Larkin's teacher, her storyteller, her soup maker and mostly her most special friend. There were no other children in this family, no human ones let me just say that. There was Daniel, Larkin's father. He loved to fix things, and spent much of his days doing that. Here and there, Larkin's father helped people who didn't seem to know how to do those things.
There was Celia and Moss. Celianmoss. Larkin always said their names together because they were always together. They lived in the forest, but had their separate house across the orchard with their cats Cobb and Litter. Cobb and Litter never left their house. Larkin visited the cats and the two women across the orchard. Larkin's mother, Imagina died giving birth to her. It was an odd and unexpected death. She had been one of the hale and hearty ones. There's more to that bit of the story embroidered throughout ... we'll let that dangle here for awhile...
Read more here, or be the one who listens to the story by leaving me the message, "I'd love the Pine Needle Dancer c.d."

Happy Harvestime, and Halloween!!
Mokihana and Pete

Thursday, October 26, 2017

We looked at a truck, and got whacked! (A cautionary tale about 'fresheners')

"Historically, chemical companies have painted environmental illness as a psychosomatic condition in the public eye in order to protect their interests; if it were acknowledged that their chemical products caused disabling illness they would be liable for millions of dollars in damage." - Planet Thrive "Chemical Sensitivity"

Yesterday, we filled the partly cloudy Wednesday with cooking up a serving of Nirvana is our Game a name we've given for comfort food for our pal who is recovering from knee surgery and the recent loss of her father. I found a pork roast, rustled up a recipe including a Dijon mustard and orange marmalade sort of herb paste; peeled and chopped up parsnips and carrots; cooked a pot of wild rice with garlic and celery and cooked up the roast with a fresh sprig of rosemary (from the Prairie Front) and by late afternoon dinner was ready to be delivered.

We timed the road trip north to West Beach to allow for a scheduled look-and-sniff appointment with a Ford 250. The pickup included in this post is a similiar model truck. The truck we looked at was a different color, and slightly younger model. IT WAS THE TRUCK OF OUR DREAM, BUT ... the owners had cleaned up the truck and stuck 'freshener' in it. A contradiction in terms, those chemical deodorizers are legal chemical death on wheels (pardon the pun, but really!#*).

The thing that happens with us EI/MCS is we know those things are death, but every once in awhile the seduction of 'being just like everybody else' gets us. This was THE perfect truck on the outside:

  • the price was right (it'd been reduced by 2K between the first time we saw it a few days ago)
  • the towing capacity was perfect for hauling the vardo
  • the color was so cool
  • there were new tires
  • and a rebuilt transmission 
We made the mistake of being lured into believing we 'might' be able to do this. Astrology explains the conflict going on here ...

"Wednesday the Moon squares Venus, then it moves over Pluto by Thursday morning. It squares Uranus and sextiles Chiron. You can be shocked and gutted, or you can take it in stride and learn.

I remember finding it depressing when people touted the whole no pain, no gain thing. It felt like they were saying – suck it up, your pain doesn’t matter. But there’s truth in it. The truth is that Pluto and Uranus type turmoil churn things up to the point where change and gain are possible. No change means no gain either. When things are too settled, there’s no opportunity. Look for your opportunity! But make sure it’s a choice for good not desperation..." - Satori
We were so hoping this truck could tow us 'into the golden sunset' and be the solution to at least part of our chaos. Instead, the experience with the Ford 250 left Pete saturated with chemicals (he drove it onto the highway ... oh, it drove so easily) that sent both he and I into the zone of frazzled brain and body symptoms (tremors and difficulty breathing, heart palpitations and anger) ; multiple showers (for Pete) helped a little; the bedding is being washed and thank the gods it's a clear day and we can dry the sheets; and the trauma of an exposure wears on the soul of relationship.

It's tough to remain resilient and not desperate. We're sorting through the experience and sometime today or tomorrow we need to find the opportunity suggested in the astrology. We all get 'whacked upside the head' and it's easy to think we're the only ones: 'shocked and gutted' state of being.

Parts of the same day can be Nirvana (the post-eating-pork roast review was "thumbs way up"), while other parts are Hell. Wheww, the reality of being human is a stretch and human with MCS is like all these stretches put together!!!:)

Ever been there?