Dance, a ritual not (just) performance

“Good men and good women have fire in the belly. We are fierce. Don't mess with us if you're looking for someone who will always be 'nice' to you. Nice gets you a C+ in life. We don't always smile, talk in a soft voice, or engage in indiscriminate hugs. In the loving struggle between the sexes we thrust and parry.” - Sam Keen

There are at least three of us, women, experiencing pain in the na'au, the gut, the belly. I received two email messages during the past week from friends telling me their story ... scary test; a diagnosis of inflammation. I have been experiencing a similar condition; and consider all the incoming data to recognize how sorrow and sadness, fear and old worries add to my gut pain. We are managing the experiences differently but what is most vital for me is to know the collective experience of discomfort in the belly.

Early this morning, I watched and listend to the video (above) with 97 year old dancer Anna Halprin. I'd slept for hours, without eating much. To soothe my tender na'au I've been drinking nourishing Comfrey infusions mixed with organic half and half, followed by long sips of warm mushroom broth. So between nourishing infusions and warm mushroom broth I watched and listened to a dancer speak of the healing power of movement.

Living on the prairie is different.
Life along a busy and noisy highway is difficult.
Life is lived in more than one direction at once.

What we kilo (observe) is being noted over time (less than three months), and to adapt to what we find it is always the application of knowledge that leads to learning.

After listening and watching Anna Halprin tell her story of work and dance I felt something missing and added it to my morning ritual of opening the gate.

I danced my way to open the wooden gate, a ritual sort of dance, not so much performance but being present, within my body, with the wind that is gentler this morning than it has been. Weaving and bobbing and letting go of the movement as I flapped my wings downward, like birds.

Thank you gate. Good morning gate. I always greet the gate (as I also greet the kitchen and the land when I get up). Small gratitudes. Simple prayers.

Rather than walk the road back I crossed the grassy spot along side leading to the pea patches and the many dangling pots hanging from the Calyx Garden fence. A pot of sticks lay toppled onto the ground, mostly moldy from being out in the rain. I chose two. And in the spirit of play and rhythm I beat the pots in a very delightful rhythm and felt my gut relax, unfurl, being part of the environment. "The environment is part of who I am," said Anna Halprin in that video or as Susun Weed believes, "engage the energy." And so, I applied that bit of wisdom. The sound was resonant. The drumming sound was louder than the roar of the traffic, at just after 8 a.m. Saturday morning. I the drummer and dancer on her way to the gate, am part of this environment. 

As I beat the pans, I also thought about the $400 bill for a fifteen minute appointment for an eye exam. When asked, the accounts department person said, "Yes we did bill Social Security ... and your co-pay is $200+." Who can pay for these things, in real life on Social Security Checks totaling less than $2,000 a month! There's something to get fired up about. Beat the pan, fire up the belly toward something outrageous, who needs to be paid that much for a service? Is that the pain in the left corner, or the middle region of my belly?

I left the pots, with a grin that was not there when I started and walked to the middle gate between the pea patches. There! in the sky above the Alder and Fir across Thompson Road were the Raven Couple(s) Two pairs. Huge in the sky, I watched as they danced the movements I mimicked moments earlier. They glided low, close, wings powerful and slow as I watched head turned up to see them in their sailing dance over the highway. The second pair remained over the treetops and set off in the other direction.

It was the gift of dance as a ritual. They, and I dance. Ravens know the meaning of movement and have shared their wisdom with me often when I tangle myself with emotions that rewind history or focus on errors in judgment, or guilt, or anger left unexpressed.

For a few moments, the potential and the healing of the pain in my belly received an acknowledgement: yes, I feel you! And, yes, I move with it and maybe something else will come from it. Maybe, something in my family history can be moved forward with the experiences of elders and black birds of the Mystery. Yes, the fire can be directed outward at a source of wrong-doing in my real life,now.

Ravens, thank you for your dance movements and your guiding presence.
Oh Sister Joan, thank you for your eye for collecting story beads...and passing them along.
Mt. Tamalpas, thank you for sheltering a near-100 year old dancer Anna Halprin ... who knows something about healing. 

The environment is part of who I am.

xo Moki and Pete