He puko'a kani 'aina: Step into the void and head for home

Just before midnight I woke from a dream with my uncle who in his nineties is going through the stages of latter-day-childhood (Alzheimer's), and my dad who passed into spirit in the early 1980's. In the dream my uncle was sorting through his choices, taking action and generally being light -- not heavy as he appeared to me during much of my life growing up. My dad's presence in the dream was represented by his photographs hanging in different places in the room, and in particular one framed picture dangled from the doorway between one room and another. To go between the rooms a person would either hit his photograph or at the very least notice it -- in this dream Dad was not to be ignored.

In real life these two men played different positions on the continuum when it came to being the responsible parent. My dad was a Capricorn bulldozer operator, an earth mover, a former beach boy and a drinker. My uncle was a lawyer, church deacon, judge. When my mom married my father it reset the balance of authority; very different versions of power played through. What I saw in their relationship was a battle of opposites yet both of them were Earth Signs: my uncle is the Fixed Sun sign of Taurus the bull, practical and accumulation-based. Taurus likes their stuff and know how to keep them. Dad was Capricorn Sun, a Cardinal sign, action-oriented and practical also but he valued different goods: stories, pranks and hard work showed on his large creased and red-dirt stained hands. The drinking gene has passed a legacy we still deal with; I watched the judgement about alcohol split my loyalties over the decades, led me into the rooms of Al-Anon and tempers me still as addiction wears many different labels.

Elders -- father figures-- showing up in dreams to leave me with messages about aging, traditions, father roles and responsibility are timely visits. The veil between the physical and spirit is thin. In the waking hours I am offered glimpses of how my uncle's legacy is playing out; these are piecemeal stories I get second hand. The dream time stories transcend the currency of a second hand story and suggest a more permeable medicine story. I was taught to compare values and still struggle with comparing values. But as the veil between the living and dead thins and visits have begun I recognize that the complexity of being a parent/responsible adult is understood in retrospect and that means one has to live to discover meaning.

I shared my dream with Pete and he was hooked, "You needed your dad to show up big time. And he did!" We're about to move. We're getting ready to set up a different version of home, and the issue of shared resources is at the heart of our journey. Our connections with family and community are being redefined. My ears are congested from the change in weather; I hear less external sounds as the tinnitus increased. My father lost his hearing when I was a girl. The affinity between Pete and my dad stems from their common working class laborer root. Hard work. Stories about work. Tinker's talent for making things work and making do. Both these men have a respect for tools -- my father kept his tools from rusting in tins filled with diesel oil, Pete has a beat up old truck (that works) and knows which tool to use for which job. But neither man has an attachment to accumulating surplus.

I'm taking this online class about authority (Capricorn) over time, and aging. The class is heavy and dense with examples of the commitment it takes to be the person you can be. "Getting real" and "growing up" are a couple ways to look at a life being lived to its full capacity. Saturn is involved in this class ... it's all about Saturn priming the goat-in-us-all to climb. Capricorn was born to climb. When I woke from the dream with my uncle and dad, I walked across the parking lot headed to the computer and found the newest installment for my online class.

The installment was written by Satori, and it began with the image pictured above from the movie Howl's Moving Castle created by Hayao Miyazaki. Satori is a master at coupling images with astrological metaphor and narrative. This time her writing described how Saturn pushes on the astrology present in the twelve houses of the zodiac. Through her narrative, the reader and student, can analyze and consider how or if the metaphors apply to our lives. Astrology is not an exact science. What it is in my experience is a applied practice that grows in meaning if used over time. I, like my dad, have Capricorn very present in my makeup. I like the application (Saturn) over time. I also have plenty of water in me with that Scorpio Sun, Mercury, and Chiron that affects EVERYTHING in my makeup. Satori is a Pisces (Water) Sun with a Capricorn Moon she speaks my language and writes metaphor that is my kind of medicine.

The image of Howl's Moving Castle was my connection to the dream (creative) transformation. I mean I just woke up from a dream with two of my main male figures. If I was afraid of stepping out of the woods and into a new version of home, Miyazaki's animated story about stereotypes, power and movement plus a dream with my uncle and father in the same night came to reassure me. Satori offers me and Pete insight into Saturn's transit (the next 2.5 years beginning December). Summarized here, it helps me to put her narrative where I can come back and review it. Combined with dream time and calendar time (we're moving in October, 2017) here is what I've gleaned:

Satori wrote: (as it relates to me) "When Saturn transits Capricorn in the Twelfth House, it can be a daunting realization or a thrilling call to invest in the unknown. Have faith. Take the steps. Commit ... onward and upward. Believe that you can master opening up to the void. Believe you will be supported."

My thoughts:  Daddy and Uncle B. show up to show me what they got, and the dream did a spin on the  the meaning of "investment." I am reinforced with the belief that I am supported. The 12th House is about Spirit, and its also a place where the hidden stories can be expressed creatively for a larger good.

When Saturn transits Capricorn in the First House you begin to take on the characteristics of a responsible adult.  You may even notice your resemblance to a parent.  With this transit, you gain personal wisdom and credibility.  It’s more than skin deep... It settles in your bones.  It also means you’ll be pressed to address results of the physical aging of your body. Work on your appearance and see it pay off long term.

My thoughts: Saturn's 2.5 year transit will work through all of my 12th House and half of my 1st House. I'm in this online class to prepare for my future and aging is real. There are things I need to do for my physical body. I already see how I look more and more like my mother, but the legacy of my father is what shouts to be acknowledged. I bow to the Capricorn, my father, the old Goat, my first love. I would have, and did follow him up many steep climbs and learned to drive seated on an old Caterpillar bulldozer.

As the astrology relates to Pete, Satori wrote: " The fourth house rules family and home.  Capricorn here is a settled home life.  However, that is also something that occurs with time and work. If you’re not there yet, Saturn will be the factor that pushes it through.  It’s time to work on that.  You’ll be pushed slowly over the line.  If you feel deprived of a family or home, now is the time to work toward satisfying this need, at least laying the groundwork.  Saturn here will solidify the choices you make and the work you put into it..."

I speculate on Pete's opportunity: We have been in a 'settled home life' for almost 8 years and are about to move. It's difficult to make this change; we've gotten comfort with the regularity and support. "Laying the groundwork" for a new version of this comfort (believing we could move back to Hawaii) started in July that's not so long ago. We aren't sure we will make this move back to Hawaii but we are sure we need to experiment with a 'next step.' Saturn likes seeing progress!

When Saturn transits Capricorn in the Fifth House it's about love life and babies.  Can you have both?  Together?  How does that look?  Do you even want them both?  You’ll be pressed to focus on these issues.  Babies don’t just come in diapers.  Babies are also art, projects, ideas.  You may be pressed to consider accepting burdens that put a damper on your fun.  You’ll weigh what is worth working toward in that regard.  Sometimes you have to climb the hill before you can slide down it.  This is a more important project and takes more effort.  Will you commit?  

I don't know how to speculate about this one. I heard Pete make this comment to a friend this morning, "We were trying to replace the community we have (here on Whidbey) with a truck!*?" Now that made me, and our friend on the other end of the cellphone laugh with a ring of truth, and irony.

The images below were what we saw the morning before the dreams of elders showed up. I like them all, but especially the seal riding or sliding, home.

isles of limu

i watched this seal climb aboard this chunk of limu, arrange himself for better sun position, catching a ride with the tide before slipping gracefully and silently back into his watery ocean home.

limu sculpting itself on shore

"Incoming limu."

Halloween Giveaway

Ballast. "to give stability to (a ship) by putting a heavy substance in its bilge."

Halloween approaches, a time when many believe the veil between the world of the living and world of the spirit is thinnest; our connect with Ancestors is easier if we wish it so. We are in the Between -- slowly, yet persistently clearing and preparing our Vardo for Two life -- to move from the woods onto the prairie. There is much to do and nothing more to do until its time. Pete and I are recovering from the experience with the Ford 250, looking for the ballast. Life with Environmental Illness is living the Church of What's Happening Now, every day! Pagan at its base, this Church of What's Happening Now sees the holy in everything. This ship of ours is always readjusting its ballast internally and externally. Keeping a blog, like this one, is a ship's log that documents the amazing journey, otherwise who would believe it and I might forget. To keep us upright, sometimes I need to step outside myself to pay a different sort of attention.

A couple years ago a story sprinkled itself to the forest floor, I noticed the scent of it; a benign and powerful scent that could be a proper dose of medicine and enchantment. I loved the characters and their story making themselves present. Some of them were familiar, others were new. Together those characters and I wrote a Halloween medicine story Pine Needle Dancers. 

I have two Halloween Giveaways free for the asking. All you need to do is leave me a comment or email asking for them. Just say: "I'd love the Pine Needle Dancer."

Here's Giveaway #1

This sweet and sacred dancer made from the needles of pine is common magic, tied with three colors of thread, and a button from my motley collection. I added one of my favorite shells as a shield when we cleaned up yesterday. We're letting go, and even the smallest of treasures needs to find new loves. This is the last of my Pine Needle Dancers made for the story, with an added bit of glamour for transitions...I'd love for her to go to someone who will love her,
someone who loves TO DANCE!!!

From tip to toe this Pine Needle Dancer is 7 inches tall.

THE PINE NEEDLE DANCER HAS BEEN CLAIMED!!! She'll be off to Minneapolis to live with our dear friend "Peggy the Cheesehead".

Giveaway #2 Is a (one only) c.d. recording (41 minutes in length) of Pine Needle Dancers ... a reading I did in 2015. This is an unedited recording with a few flubs and do overs left where they are. 

Free shipping (or a hand-to-hand gifting)

 on both giveaways.

Pine Needle Dancers can be read in its entirety online here. I hope you go there to meet and greet the wonderful characters, and the messages of magic at a season when harvests and remembrances can make such a difference!!

A sampling of the Halloween story ... 

"Trees knew the changing ways that were toppling them. Part of the hardening off of their Heartwood had to do with recognizing the Humans who would have their backs so-to-speak. During this season of damp, this new season of rain and cold, the Pines kept track of those who remembered how to care for their hair, and their gifts.

"Needles. We call them Pine Needles," said Larkin's Gran. Larkin was celebrating her fourth birthday in less than ten moon phases. She was Scorpio, and this was her season. Gran Calypso was Larkin's teacher, her storyteller, her soup maker and mostly her most special friend. There were no other children in this family, no human ones let me just say that. There was Daniel, Larkin's father. He loved to fix things, and spent much of his days doing that. Here and there, Larkin's father helped people who didn't seem to know how to do those things.

There was Celia and Moss. Celianmoss. Larkin always said their names together because they were always together. They lived in the forest, but had their separate house across the orchard with their cats Cobb and Litter. Cobb and Litter never left their house. Larkin visited the cats and the two women across the orchard. Larkin's mother, Imagina died giving birth to her. It was an odd and unexpected death. She had been one of the hale and hearty ones. There's more to that bit of the story embroidered throughout ... we'll let that dangle here for awhile...

Read more here, or be the one who listens to the story by leaving me the message, "I'd love the Pine Needle Dancer c.d."

Happy Harvestime, and Halloween!!

Mokihana and Pete

We looked at a truck, and got whacked! (A cautionary tale about 'fresheners')

"Historically, chemical companies have painted environmental illness as a psychosomatic condition in the public eye in order to protect their interests; if it were acknowledged that their chemical products caused disabling illness they would be liable for millions of dollars in damage." - Planet Thrive "Chemical Sensitivity"

Yesterday, we filled the partly cloudy Wednesday with cooking up a serving of Nirvana is our Game a name we've given for comfort food for our pal who is recovering from knee surgery and the recent loss of her father. I found a pork roast, rustled up a recipe including a Dijon mustard and orange marmalade sort of herb paste; peeled and chopped up parsnips and carrots; cooked a pot of wild rice with garlic and celery and cooked up the roast with a fresh sprig of rosemary (from the Prairie Front) and by late afternoon dinner was ready to be delivered.

We timed the road trip north to West Beach to allow for a scheduled look-and-sniff appointment with a Ford 250. The pickup included in this post is a similiar model truck. The truck we looked at was a different color, and slightly younger model. IT WAS THE TRUCK OF OUR DREAM, BUT ... the owners had cleaned up the truck and stuck 'freshener' in it. A contradiction in terms, those chemical deodorizers are legal chemical death on wheels (pardon the pun, but really!#*).

The thing that happens with us EI/MCS is we know those things are death, but every once in awhile the seduction of 'being just like everybody else' gets us. This was THE perfect truck on the outside:

• the price was right (it'd been reduced by 2K between the first time we saw it a few days ago)
• the towing capacity was perfect for hauling the vardo
• the color was so cool
• there were new tires
• and a rebuilt transmission 

We made the mistake of being lured into believing we 'might' be able to do this. Astrology explains the conflict going on here ...

"Wednesday the Moon squares Venus, then it moves over Pluto by Thursday morning. It squares Uranus and sextiles Chiron. You can be shocked and gutted, or you can take it in stride and learn.

I remember finding it depressing when people touted the whole no pain, no gain thing. It felt like they were saying – suck it up, your pain doesn’t matter. But there’s truth in it. The truth is that Pluto and Uranus type turmoil churn things up to the point where change and gain are possible. No change means no gain either. When things are too settled, there’s no opportunity. Look for your opportunity! But make sure it’s a choice for good not desperation..." - Satori

We were so hoping this truck could tow us 'into the golden sunset' and be the solution to at least part of our chaos. Instead, the experience with the Ford 250 left Pete saturated with chemicals (he drove it onto the highway ... oh, it drove so easily) that sent both he and I into the zone of frazzled brain and body symptoms (tremors and difficulty breathing, heart palpitations and anger) ; multiple showers (for Pete) helped a little; the bedding is being washed and thank the gods it's a clear day and we can dry the sheets; and the trauma of an exposure wears on the soul of relationship.

It's tough to remain resilient and not desperate. We're sorting through the experience and sometime today or tomorrow we need to find the opportunity suggested in the astrology. We all get 'whacked upside the head' and it's easy to think we're the only ones: 'shocked and gutted' state of being.

Parts of the same day can be Nirvana (the post-eating-pork roast review was "thumbs way up"), while other parts are Hell. Wheww, the reality of being human is a stretch and human with MCS is like all these stretches put together!!!:)

Ever been there?

What is a makua o'o and how do they relate to 'Alala the Hawaiian crow?

“We also observed some alarm calling showing us that these individuals are very aware of their surroundings and are learning to respond to the natural threats that may occur in their environment.”

- 'Alala released into the wilds

What do the Hawaiian crow 'Alala and these makua o'o have in common?

 The fancy definition, and one that I have written about reads:

"The Makua o'o are tomorrow's kupuna, elders, in training today. In the Hawaiian culture, the Makua o'o is urged to be in honest preparation under the tutelage of kupuna now. The o'o (with kahako, accents, over both vowels) is a cultivating tool used to work the ground, weed unwanted growth and prepare for planting. The art of becoming Makua o'o develops as a tailor-made journey of discovery, practice and confidence with that cultivating tool."

 But over time and with life experience, Pete's version is the real stuff.

We were there (back with the steps)

and now we're here being angled in by the makua using his o'o. The wind is building, and there are adjustments to be made on the porch' before dark. Making adjustments to climate change we move the safety pins metaphorically and literally.

We needed to move the vardo a few yards because the forecast is calling for high winds today and tonight. "I guess we have to get used to that (wind on the Prairie Front)." The wheels make mobility, possible. The o'o and the makua do the rest.

New Moon approaches (tomorrow, Thursday October 19, 2017 Po Muku mid-day). We give thanks, and set our intentions for an unfolding picture of incremental mobility -- a little bit at a time. Pete's 'ikaika strength and our adaptability gets us through, with practice. The connection with the Hawaiian crow, 'Alala comes at a perfect moment sometime around 7:00 PM. A recent report of releasing these nearly-extinct Raven back into the wilds is a talisman ... a bit of New Moon magic. We too are looking for just the right timing for our release back into the wilds.

The myth is still in the making!

He puko'a kani 'aina: Out of the woods; the inspiration to risk; the reasons to connect

"... With the Moon in Leo Friday and Saturday, ask yourself – how does this make me feel? What makes you feel vital is where you will want to go. If something feels as though it makes you smaller, less vital, alter your steering. Let it all sink in without rushing to judgement. What feels validating is the right direction..." - Satori

Saturday was road trip day. We headed for Olympia with a stop in Lacey first to be with our friends Joan and Lana. These are long-time friends I first met when I wore a suit, sat in corporate board rooms and collected a salary from a drugstore company. That is a long time friendship that has spanned not just the career shifts but also the decades of aging and becoming, unraveling and stitching together ... and staying friends as change has made us feel every sort of feel.

To get to Olympia we mostly woods-like people had to navigate the freeway where:

65 was just a suggestion
75, 80, 85 was more like it
MPH that is

When we were done with the ride to and from my dreams still raced, trying, I think, to catch up with myself who was lying still.

 We sat and ate Artichoke and Salmon Quiches in Traditions Restaurant in Olympia.

... the macaroons were delicious.

After lunch we stepped into the 2017 Olympia Zine Fest to experience the DIY publishing world of small magazines (zines). I towed my oxygen tank and ceramic mask into the large building, knowing it was a risk to be among a crowd of mostly very young zine fans and zine writers with product and fragrances etc.

We purchased two zines. The first because of its title Radical Nuns. The title made me laugh from behind my mask. The young woman (Cait Olds) behind the table was trying to eat her lunch when I said, "We live with a radical nun." Pete added, "She was the body guard for Angela Davis." The young woman put down her lunch and started to write down the name of our radical nun.

Empathy Exercise (Her comic on blindness and classroom practices, "Empathy Exercise" was presented as a lightning talk at the 2017 Comics & Medicine conference in Seattle, WA. )written and drawn by M. Sabine Rear is a black and white printed zine on heavy stock. I liked the differently sized zine but it was the recommendation for the zine that led me to buy it. I was looking at a pink-red zine with a line of spoons progressively bending and entitled Bending Spoons: A Field Guide to Ableist Microaggressions (2015). I chuckled behind my mask and said, "I really like this. It's good." Not very original commentary, but I did and it was good. The woman dressed in black (not the creator of the zine) said, "Oh if you like that you should look at this." I did. I read through the small zine about blindness slowly, but it read quickly. It was $2. "Do you need some tax with that?" I asked. "No tax." 

The back cover of M. Sabine Rear's Empathy Exercise zine

Introduction to Radical Nuns by Cait Olds

Microcosm Publishing is "Portland's most colorful, authentic, and empowering publishing house and distributor, Microcosm Publishing is a vertically integrated publishing house that equips readers to make positive changes in their lives and in the world around them. Microcosm emphasizes skill-building, showing hidden histories, and fostering creativity through challenging conventional publishing wisdom with books and bookettes about DIY skills, food, bicycling, gender, self-care, and social justice. The then-distro and record label was started by Joe Biel in his bedroom in 1996 and is now among the oldest independent publishing houses in Portland, OR. Microcosm focuses on relating the experiences of what it's like to be a marginalized person. We constantly strive to be recognized for our spirit, creativity, and value. Our books are printed in the U.S. on post-consumer papers while we double the industry standard in our number of women authors.
Radical Nuns is published by Microcosm Publishing.

We brought gifts for our old friends: fresh ingredients to make pot roast with every color vegetable we could find. It was a surprise, unexpected sort of gift. Joan asked, "Do you want me to cook this for you?" "No," I said with a pang of heart singing. "This is for you folks. A lovely meal with sodas and beer."

These final two photo were in my email on Sunday. "Roasting up your gifts" was the title. Joan and I have cooked hundreds, probably thousands, of meals in our various pots with fresh vegetables, as well as frozen with roasted, baked and stewed meats of of varying sizes for families, friends and strangers. It's one of the things we do: cook! What was the most fun for me was to come to the decision to assemble the box of ingredients knowing the love for our old friends would get cooked up with the moments of our road trip: out of the woods, inspiration to risk, and reasons to connect.

Over time we all go through, or get caught up, in the hard times that bring us to our knees. Somehow the downward pressure finds that internal strength that is resilience, stubbornness, adaptability, passion. We get up again. The age difference between us and the young zinesters at the Olympia Zine Fest is decades wide. Pete and I were the oldest ones there, and I was the only one toting a 02 tank wearing a ceramic mask. I wasn't able to stay more than a half an hour maybe. We didn't check the time or look at our cellphones for that detail.

What we did experience was the vitality of a day lived fully from manic freeway frenzy (why are these people driving so fast?),finding a few more fresh (we needed purple, orange and red) veggies at the Oly Coop, shopping for a six-pack of beer in Fred Meyer's, and then walking into a restaurant, sitting down to eat and enjoy company (only moving once to avoid the whiff of Patchouli-scented candles from the gift shop), and finally opening the doors to our first dose of  'festival' in many years. Crowds are not our usual venue. It made no never mind though for a while the crowd was just one part of a day in our lives.

Zine is the scene I've wanted to know for a very long time: it was the buzz and the hands-on flavor I was after. To get there, I guess it was believing that was part of the way to Elsewhere. Not a bad way to go, and worth the extra bit of planning and shock of life outside my comfort zone. I learned somethings. We had some laughs. And are inspired to keep at this idea of putting that trip to Elsewhere into a differently-sized zine of our own.


Stay tuned.

Thanks jt and Lana, it was a great Saturday with friends!

xoxo Mokihana and Pete

He puko'a kani 'aina: Nene and 'Alala

"...Insights come in a flash. Your internalization of the information can take as long as you need. If someone is pushing you for an answer or an action NOW, that should be a red flag to slow down and evaluate the intent and scope of the ask. Because it IS an ask. Your permission is required. Don’t give it without understanding. Mars-Chiron can set us on the back foot, wanting to find balance immediately. First find solid ground (information) on which to settle..." - Satori

Nene Photographed by Joel Sartore

There was hail -- pellets of frozen rain that fall in showers from cumulonimbus clouds--  hitting the metal and plastic roof. Still dark the mid-October morning pelted me with the reasons that fed the origins for believing it was time to head for home. Head for the islands where Nene and `Alala prevail despite the odds against them. Sheltered against the frozen rain inside the small room Pete built using the east-facing wall of the large two-car garage electricity courses through the thick extension cords: lights flick on, heat radiates from the heaters, the small screen of the HP laptop brings virtual reality to my present. The warmth from the thick red fleece robe and mouse-nibbled wool socks encase me as I turn the large burner on outside. I squeeze under the eaves and wait for the water to come to a boil to make peppermint tea with honey. I hybridize life on the borders here in the woods and dive into the metaphor and the reality of life from a small golden wagon.

A myth is in the making, slowly telling a version of our journey. One version of the story is put here to record our forward-backward-slowly unfurling process. Head for the islands where Nene and 'Alala prevail despite the odds against them. The myth waits like the coyote who met Pete on the road yesterday. Unlike the neighbors' dogs, Coyote does not bark and Coyote does not run when the long lean old man breaks the boundary of his territory. It is not dark yet, both predators walk the same path. The Coyote eventually makes the next move. It is myth calling for its place. We will move from these woods soon; these woods where our black cat and familiar, JOTS, was taken by Coyote. It was a courtesy call of sorts, a recognition. Pete knew the sign.  I hear the story secondhand but I am moved.

Our friend Teri sent us the picture above,  'Alala, the Hawaiian Crow along with the recording of the voice of the nearly-extinct family of Raven. I wrote back and said, "'Alala weaves in and out of my medicine stories (myth)." The Joy Weed Journal is the story that called up the memory of 'Alala. It was a small, possible connection. Easily unrecognized to the uninitiated. A mutant memory. But for a myth-maker, THAT is cause for connection. I wrote the word, the bird, into the medicine and drank it down to make solid ground.

Nene and The Woman Colored Pencil and Ink Drawing by Yvonne Mokihana Calizar

"She couldn't remember when there were many people to talk with. There was Ma, but she'd been gone -- what? She'd been gone nearly thirty years; they meet in dreams.

"Such deep and complex thoughts," Nene considered the responsibility.
"The woman came that way as a girl. Don't expect her be different. Realize. She doesn't let on to many people." 'Alala had a spirit, and voice, that would appear at critical times. This was as it should be for birds who live at the edges of time.

Nene found the woman when both were well past their bloodmoon times. They were aged and broken in ways easily seen: hinges held the goose together at critical junctions. A mask filtered the toxic air for the woman. Well enough, mostly." - from Myth Still Growing (that story with no set title)

The hail has passed, the rain left pools at the mouth of the downspout at the garage's corner, in front of the hale's (that's Hawaiian pronounced ha-lay with an accent on the 'ha') roof line, and at the edges of the vardo. Pete slept with the burgundy curtain shielding him from the porch light I left ablaze. More rain fell. The olive oil outside is solid. Temperatures are falling. This wet season brings winter. The season we had hoped to avoid is here. We are still here. The myth still grows.

He puko 'a kani 'aina: Answers coming in ...

 "To hope is to gamble. It's to bet on your futures, on your desires, on the possibility that an open heart and uncertainty is better than gloom and safety. To hope is dangerous, and yet it is the opposite of fear, for to live is to risk."  - Rebecca Solnit (Hope in the Dark) Thank you to Terri Windling for this quote on hope, posted today on her blog Myth and Moor

The Hoku Moon Ceremony of asking has answers coming from many different angles. This weekend the change in season doubles in meaning as we prepare to move from the woods; we start by appreciating the woods. Our kilo practice of observations sharpens: clouds and sky send messages of transforming; Raven Clan chatter with their full vocabulary and swoop closer more often. I ask, "Will you be coming with us?"; I notice the face of the Goddess of Internet in the foil antennae and laugh at the timing in her presentation.

 What appears solid

 changes...

In the late afternoon with sunshine fully present we stopped for a visit on the Prairie Front to scout and sniff out a new landing place to park the vardo,

munched on a local apple, watched how shadows came and spoke to the resident trees about sharing this place with them. Though the formal discussion and approval for our move onto the Prairie Front is not until October 19th, the informal poll is positive, and welcoming. We move forward ...

"... Our process around purpose demands an overhaul. What we desire and our efforts to get it are thwarted or limited. And they RELATE. When you’re up against it and backed into a corner, do you get smarter… change up your approach… genuinely evaluate all your resources and how you’re using them? Well, we should. We can crumple and whinge, or we can be heroes. We can wring our hands and wait for rescue, or we can weigh our options and act. We can act intelligently as a result of deep, paradigm-shifting consideration and communication. And if that doesn’t shift the barriers, we may think and communicate and act again… or ask for help. There’s always that..." - Satori

We are hopeful about our future, and realistic about the halting progress of our vision to move from the woods of Langley to a Hawaii. What we imagine is a big dream and the process demands "we act intelligently as deep shifts take place" and communication travels at its own pace -- controlling that speed is not ours to have. We have opened up new forms of contact (enrolled in WWOOF -- World Wise Opportunities On Organic Farms) and begin exploring the potential as elder wwoofers; received many and varied forms of communication with family and people with Environmental Illness who live in Hawaii. The messages inform us; some comfort us; others leave us wondering but they do not make the decisions for us. We weigh the content and keep the source in mind as we measure their value, and keep communicating with you through these posts.

For now, it is enough to know we have a next place to transition. Like a baby taking her first step we need some practice with this dream of moving; there is a wonderful sense of freedom in the hoping. And just in case, my Capricorn (earthy) Moon and spider sense Scorpio Sun have enrolled me in an online astrology class to help us navigate this next chapter of "Moki and Pete on the Way to Elsewhere."

Thank you for faithfully reading and supporting our journey in diverse and meaningful ways: your financial support cushions our efforts as we juggle our options and slowly build momentum, your phone calls, comments and email messages keep you close and make our efforts feel less isolated. Your collaboration might be the most valuable experience of all. At a time when harsh interactions and violence repeatedly lash and demand center stage, we so appreciate learning how to build on respectful unions. I have heard from a couple people who have been lost in the email blasts over the summer. E kala mai sorry about that. I've added you onto the email list again, so hopefully those who want to be are included now.

xoxo Much aloha,
Mokihana and Pete

He puko'a kani 'aina ... a Hoku day, night and morning

We spent time yesterday between the two places that have meant home to us here on Whidbey. During the gorgeous fall daylight hours we were at the Prairie Front (South Whidbey Tilth) helping with Market cleanup.

Pete in the sandbox ... 

leaving messages.

Later in the day, there was a soup to be made for the evening gathering. A few herbs from Eileen's garden to season 

On the way to the Prairie Front the sun painted a Creamsicle sky

Moki bundled up in the warming, practical and beautiful mana of  gifts from very special women: "Big Red" storm coat from jt, Dikka hat and scarf a long-time fav, Hopi scarf. Thank you wonderful friends!

Waiting for Hoku ... Pete, Madir, Angie and Maria

Madir, Pete and JC holding the woven 'aha of 8 la'i ti leaves signifying the 8 years we have lived on Whidbey moku. Our friends who joined us held the 'aha as I asked for permission to live here on this Land. The prayer was directed to the Ancestors and this Land. Once the chant was finished we clapped our conclusion and set the prayer free.  Then, everyone had a chance to share a full moon wish ... we held space for each other. I thanked each friend for sharing their wish.

And then ... Hoku did come slowly through the Tall Ones until she was fully present.

The Hoku moon in the early morning following the Ceremony of Asking. The Moon was on her way west, toward Hawaii. This is a reminder of being able to see the moon from many places. This point of view? A morning view from the woods of Forest Lane the place we have called home for nearly eight years. Mahalo nui loa e Mahina !

The prayer is lifted. Amama ua noa. 👏👏

He puko'a kani 'aina ... Full Moon (Hoku) Ceremony of Asking, Wednesday, October 4, 2017

From the original medicine story The Safety Pin Cafe, its "Introduction" is the foundation upon which we offer what we know:

"We cross borders without regard, ignorant or arrogant of the protocol native to the transitional spaces that take us from this place to that place. Traditions remembered and practiced would maintain and pass along the right things to do, at the right time, and in the right frame of mind. Have we all become wanderers with passports un-stamped with the memory of teachings from the Ancestors and Nature? There are rituals to remember and common magic to induce respect and reverence for the beings and places that share this planet."

The photo above was taken in 2014 after a Safety Pin Cafe storytelling event at the South Whidbey Tilth's Farmers' Market. Life and seasons have come and gone since then. We age, we dream, we juggle the daze and the nights. We test our resilience. And Those-that-Watch and the Land upon which the Tilth's Farmers' Market takes place watch. Those-that-Watch and the Land notice how the people remember to notice, but mostly in these contemporary times they ask, "Do they, notice?"

On Wednesday evening, October 4, 2017, We will remember to notice this evening's moon phase we Hawaiian call, "Hoku." One of the four full moons recognized in the Hawaiian Moon calendar, "Hoku" is the moon phase when the sun is still in the sky when the moon begins her rise. Sun in Libra, Moon in Aries. Energetically, we Earth folk have a clear point of view to fold our life-path narrative with the intent of respectful reciprocity. To notice and remember, Pete and I will create respectful, homemade ceremony, ritual.

" A great deal of emphasis has shifted into Libra ... Relationships enliven and enrich our life-path narrative. Libra highlights balance, relationship, partnership, and affection. The Aries energy of the full moon in counterpoint brings light to the individuals in the equation. What are the needs of the individuals in the partnership?..." - Satori's Weekly Astrology Forecast

Ceremony of Asking

We have spoken with several of the South Whidbey Tilth People (those who serve on the Tilth's Council of Trustees) over the past week with this request: We would like to move onto the Tilth beginning November as our transitional camp. These people have given us their support. They welcome us as the first people to live on this land (full-time) for a very long time. A formal discussion and approval will need to take place at the next business meeting on Thursday, October 19, 2017.

Wednesday evening's Ceremony of Asking, while the Sun and Moon are both in the sky, will be a time of Indigenous protocol; asking permission and guidance from our Ancestors and the Land; and addressing the Tilth Land in its more ancient name.  This ceremony acknowledges traditional practices as vital in contemporary settings. We will listen for their answer and not assume we can "cross borders without regard, ignorant or arrogant of the protocol native to the transitional spaces that take us from this place to that place. "

Pete and Mokihana will be at the South Whidbey Tilth

Wednesday Evening, October 4, 2017

6:30 P.M.

Mokihana will recite the 'oli/chant "Pule Houlu'ulu" to ask permission

Then we'll share hot squash soup and crackers with those who wish to join us. Feel free to bring food or drink to share as well. Dress warmly as the evenings are very cool at sunset. 

Pete and Moki on the porch of Vardo for Two, October, 2017

The journey continues,
xoxo
Mokihana and Pete