`Aha Update #22 Connecting the dots with Common Magic

"Where are you going?" my old friend asked. I wrote back and told her the truth at the time. It was a version of the story ... "We have already been there."

 Imagining we are on the way helped shift something within me: a block, a clock stuck in a kink, a spring too tightly wound? Putting one, or two versions of the truth out there ... out here

 I forgot there are so many other dots on that hinged question ...

Close by and out of site I woke from sleep this morning, out of a dream with old friends a potter, a teacher, other island livers.  I checked the internet to find them like Spider Woman investigating a new arrival on her web.

Somehow the common magic of making a picture that works with no harm to the surroundings, joyfulness and traditions in a contemporary setting

is opening up space for what is missing

What if The Gods' magic is in the common glory of a glass crystal, battered good luck monster, stick people masquerading as pine needle dancers and Pete conjuring early morning infusions?

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.” -- Ben Okri

Amen bruddahs and titas xoxo
Moki and Pete 

`Aha Update #21 Courage and Compassion

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.” ~ Thomas Merton (from "The Value of Our Values" )

'Ike aku, 'ike mai, kokua au kokua mai; pela iho la ka nohona 'ohana.
Recognize and be recongized, help and be helped; such is family life.'Olelo No'eau

Yesterday was one of those days when courage, faith and hope were missing in action. The smallest disappointment sent me over the edge and onto futon for hours of restorative sleep. Mine was a fitful sleep more a dive into murky water than calming reassurance. My belly churned from processing more than I could chew. Impatience forced me forward even though I had no spoons left. "So many broken dreams," I moaned.

On the way to the doorway of sleep old teachers, comforting lessons waited just on the other side. I remembered a poem I found the other day. The poem was not one of mine. I included it at the end of a column written in the Hawaii Island Journal to mark the one year anniversary of my trip to Hiroshima. Many friends, Pete and I folded a thousand cranes that year. I had the paper birds boxed and addressed for mailing to the Sadako Sasaki Peace Memorial Celebration. A friend and flight attendant who flew between Honolulu and Japan surprised me with two tickets to Hiroshima. We would hand deliver those 1,000 folded cranes.

The atomic bomb destroyed a nation killing more than a 100,000 people in Hiroshima and 80,000 in nearby Nagasaki. A young Japanese school girl named Sadako was among those who died 10 years after the nuclear bombing of 1945. It was her story and her legacy that motivated the folding of those origami cranes.

The trip (my first and last to Japan) was a miracle -- full of surprises as is so often true of miracles. I had severely injured the ligaments in my lower back days before the scheduled trip and was in a lot of pain. Until the very last minute I was not sure I could make that flight. Others came to my aid, encouraging me, helping to make it possible: one of my yoga students loaned me a magnetic pad to ease the discomfort; once on board the flight the crew (friends of my companion) upgraded us to First-Class so I was able to fly on my back for the eleven hour journey. The people of Hiroshima were wonderful. I spoke no Japanese, but they spoke compassion and when they saw the pain in my face they offered me healing ointments and extra delicious soba (buckwheat noodles) in a succulent broth.

"Broken Dreams"

By Lauretta P. Burns

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend.
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my Friend.

But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could You be so slow"-
"My child," He said,
"What could I do? You never did let go."

That experience took courage on my part and it also took letting go long enough to allow the miracle to find its way to me. All these years later I see the history of choices and opportunity mirrored in the challenges Pete and I face now. The remnant  pain of that old back injury returns when life gets difficult. I recoil as I think of the smell of the strong smelling ointment I rubbed into my back. Yet the kindness of strangers and the unforgettable energy my friend and I shared with thousands of other human beings committed to no more A-Bomb is a commitment I live undiluted.

Our broken dream of moving back to Hawaii? We manifested that dream when I was 60 and recently diagnosed with Environmental Illness/Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. Once again that same friend helped with tickets to and from Seattle to Honolulu. But old ways of engaging with life quickly revealed an ill-fitting daily reality. I needed oxygen to fly, and living in rental houses proved impossible. We slept in our car in parking lots, driveways and a front yard. Forcing a dream into old skin proved to be an activity of desperation.

It is not such an unconnected illness being sensitive to the environment that has been tampered with nuclear bombs. The chemistry of atomic weaponry does not disappear nor do the effects of those extremely intense compounds safely break-down. The same chemicals and extreme attitude regarding power mark us all. Our attitudes would need to change as much as our knowledge of Environment Illness. Change is slow, and compassion for ourselves and for others so easy to dismiss. Is our current dream to travel to Elsewhere a lesser destination than home to Hawaii?

Perhaps the ghosts of past dreams broken yet waiting are offering new miracles. When I woke from yesterday's fitful afternoon sleep I had just let go long enough to see another point of view. I sensed the miracle and called my son.

"Podcasts," I said after we greeted each other with me sobbing through sorrow still freshly transforming. "Let's record those Hawaii Island Journal columns into podcasts. What do you think?" I asked.

"Yeah," Christopher said.  We've been talking about collaboration on podcasts and now we had a specific body of work to play with. It will take upgrading my skills as writer and blogger to do this and at the same time it will plant a new seed of resourcefulness for both of us. It will keep evidence of courage and compassion alive to serve again.

Writing these `Aha Updates and researching how to create a Crowdfunding campaign (which has changed in focus but will launch in early September) are giving me the practice I need to hone and reinvent my skills to survive and thrive. Being poor in America is tricky business. Being poor with Environmental illness? That takes a miracle and bits of practical magic.

While I spoke with my son in the vardo Pete was adjusting to his recent changes: retirement from a long term job, preparing to sell Bernadette the 66 Dodge truck that has served so many.  We process change differently my husband and I. Together the journey is always interesting, and neither one of us is as full without the other.

A page from the zine I am illustrating and writing to record The Way to Elsewhere.

Bernadette the '66 Dodge truck now for sale.

In the heavens Saturn will begin moving forward tomorrow, Friday, August 25, 2017 after a long and grinding retrograde that began April 6, 2017. Saturn is an 'outer planet' and therefore a slow moving but collectively felt influence. When Saturn turns direct I will make connection with a friend of a friend who lives in a pristine Northern California location five miles inland from the California coast. She is family to a long-time friend. We are on the way to Elsewhere, that destination not named on maps. With the help of others the fuel for miracles can be a manifestation of 'having your back' or 'being the cushion' to a difficult stretch. Wish us luck with this connection.

Infused with the memories of compassion and connection with strangers on the way to Hiroshima, I am reminded that it takes courage to change. I remember also that the injury to my back in August, 2002 resulted when my newly developing skill as a yoga teacher was led by ego rather than union. Yoga means "union." I had abused my power and broke myself. I continue to learn about power and am humbled by my lessons again and again.

In memory of a young Japanese schoolgirl named Sadako I fold these words like origami and put them here. Special thanks to Peggy for the miraculous experience to and from Hiroshima from Honolulu.

Peace.
Mokihana and Pete

  

`Aha Update #20: Interdependence, Open to the signs, The Gift of Pelicans

"... Wednesday, Cancer Venus perfects its trine to Chiron. Thursday Venus’ square to Uranus is exact. Healthy desire requires growth and understanding. Sometimes that condition sparks a sharp turn that takes people by surprise...Wednesday the Moon pulls past square to Saturn and into sextile with Venus. Let the warmth of the day soak into your skin and make your senses bloom. Later Wednesday the Moon moves to Venus-ruled Libra and a square to retrograde Juno in Capricorn. The scents don’t last, but our memories of them will. It’s possible to create a lasting ver[s]ion from imagination. Or at least an impression to follow and build on."- Satori

Pelicans are new to me except in picture books or cartoons. My first experience with living, flying Pelicans happened a month ago. Yesterday as Pete, Doodles, Hope and I walked the long stretch of beach at The Muliwai a family of 6 plus 4 American White Pelicans circled above us. They were high in the sky, but their flight signature --a straight line, was recognizable. Maybe it was that same family the resident Pelicans who now make Whidbey their home place. The brief video above was my excitable response to yesterday's visitation.

I am a Scorpio, looking for clues is hard-wired into my nature like Doyle's Sherlock Holmes. As with Sir Arthur Canon Doyle's fictional sleuth my scent for mysteries is so often multi-faceted. A seemingly unrelated event will send me sideways or into deep water to make sense or string clues together. The Leo Solar Eclipse was more about walking the beach and being with water (we three humans represented the three Water Signs of the Zodiac) than staring into the heavens to watch Father Sun and Mother Moon making love. (That's just bad manners.)

Six American White Pelicans riding the thermals above Sunlight Beach, "The Muliwai" in Washington

This morning I am in my sleuth mode, considering the events of the visitation from Pelicans and the slow unfolding journey to Elsewhere. Our friend Hope and I walked side-by-side and at one point she asked how our plans were coming.

"We've made changes." I explained how the wild fire smoke was an undeniable message about our wish to return to Hawaii where vog is ever present especially on Hawaii moku where Pele is busy making new land.  Pete added the news he discovered about the recent Hawaii PUC (Public Utilities Commission) approval of the HuHonua plans to chip and burn thousands of acres of eucalyptus trees to power the island of Hawaii. The eucalyptus plantation and site for the burning is Pepeekeo on the Hamakua Coast not far north of Hilo on the opposite of the island from the activity of Pele (the volcano). In our fondest dream it could have been the Hamakua Coast that we would tow Vardo for Two. 

The gods have something else, an Elsewhere, in mind for us. My morning investing led to thoughts about Pelicans. And this point of view:

"I have been experiencing the cooperative aspect of pelican energy while writing about them. In late February my wrist broke after falling on ice hidden by powder. Independence became interdependence. I deeply appreciated the example of animals getting what they need, in some cases without hand-like extremities. In pelicans, bills act like hands and tools, even as a food basket! ... This interdependence with others is a precursor of the kind of cooperation in community that will increase in the future. As earth changes like the earthquakes in Haiti and Japan, and the floods in Pakistan and Australia continue as the Mother rightfully rebalances herself, we must all pull together caring about each other in the reality of Oneness. Do you work well in conjunction with others? White pelicans hunt and feed cooperatively while afloat together. In synchronized swimming, they herd schools of small fish into a cove or surround the school in a tight net. All will dip their beaks into the water at the same time as they advance. They even sunbathe in synchrony. It is not unusual to see a flock all facing the sun, heads back, bills tilted toward the sky..."- Wisdom Magazine 

As we continued our beach walk I asked our friend about her casita in Mexico. "Where is your casista?" I asked. 

"Sayulita," she said. Hope described the location of the village on Mexico's Pacific Coast and then pulled up videos on her iphone of  Sayulita waves rolling into shore while the sun set on the horizon. The sound of waves activated an old longing. I remembered backstroking across ocean water. My belly hummed.

"When you go there do you fly?" I continued feeling the fire building in my belly.

"Yes." She said. I wondered if there was another way

I asked, "Have you ever driven there?"

"No, but friends have done it." She was feeding that fire of Hope. (That's her job.)

"If you think you'd like to drive there with your home I could talk with friends about being able to camp on the land." The fire blazed just a bit more. I looked at Pete the Cancerian who was pulling into that shell of his (That's what crabs do when they need protection.) 

He mumbled, "I'm going to Canada." That's not south, nor warm I thought to myself.

When the Pelicans showed up minutes later flying in a southward path, that whooping was the combined 'WHAT IF, WHY NOT?' of two little water women fanning the flames of new definitions. The scent of those new definitions are newly informing me. I have long wished to visit and perhaps live in Mexico for so many reasons.  The astrology for this week of the Solar Eclipse in Leo include this from Satori, "The scents don’t last, but our memories of them will. It’s possible to create a lasting ver[s]ion from imagination. Or at least an impression to follow and build on." 

Perhaps the Pelicans know something we don't. The mystery, the game is afoot. Throughout this summer of weighing out the wishes and the healthy doses of mundane reality, there is always the presence of messengers: Raven, Pelican, Squirrel, Hope. Satori's horoscope above cautions her readers "Healthy desire requires growth and understanding. Sometimes that condition sparks a sharp turn that takes people by surprise." We are right where we are now grateful for life as it is. 

There are details dangling left right, north and south; and growth takes time. Wasn't it Donella Meadows  one of my heroines who observed 'Nature's pace is slow to medium?" Elsewhere knows where it is. Do we know the way? Not exactly, but we have a scent or sense of it and the Pelicans have come two New Moons in a row. In the company of others, seems the message. Interdependent. Go where you and Pete and Vardo for Two can be interdependent.

Environmental Illness or MCS and interdependence seems a contradiction in terms. Isolation too frequent a reality. Pelican seed us with your wisdom. Feed us from that abundant bill and pouch of yours. We are open to learn, really we are.

Have you any experiences with Pelican?

xoxo Moki and Pete

Pelican related links that might interest you:
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/symbolic-pelican-meaning.html
http://balancedwomensblog.com/animal-spirit-guide-pelican/

`Aha Update #19: New Moon and Solar Eclipse in Leo, Beyond Words

`Aha Update #18: A Servicing Mars Story

"... Mars is the bomb. No matter what you want to do, what you think about doing, feel like doing, what you DO relates to your Mars. This makes it really important to know your Mars and learn to service it so that it performs the way you wish in your finer moments. Where is your Mars? Are you volatile? " - " Power, responsibility and volatility", Satori

When Pete and I were kids the service station was a real full deal. Gas was around 17-19 cents a gallon when we both started driving. My oldest memory of a service station: Hide's (pronounce "he-day's")Service Station on old Waialae Avenue in Kahala before the freeway and before all that is Kahala now. Pete's two older brothers were grease monkeys at gas stations; 'mechanic apprenticeship' for guys in the 1950's.

Things have changed since Hideo and his sister Grace sold gas, checked every thing under the hood and knew everyone who pulled up at the pump.

As Pete and I juggle what it takes for us to act on the details and circumstances of our move to Elsewhere the astrology and the mundane reality of life on the road in 2017 led me back to the old service station. To get from here to Elsewhere we are literally fingering and revisiting the choices and the challenges that got us here.

Pete has cleared most of two garages worth of this and that's--essential nuts and bolts, for a man who sees value in little bits of cedar and unmatched but usable hinges; isn't afraid to pack out other people's trash, and will show up with his truck and shovel when a friend's favorite goat passes on. "Need some help with that?"

This is a man who will take time to dicker prices on the proper screw rather than pay package price for a bag of mystery hardware.

To move ourselves and Vardo for Two we will need to find a truck powerful enough to haul 3,500+ pounds reliably. It is also not enough to be powerful, the truck has to be fragrance-free enough for Pete to drive long distances without getting whacked by fragrance or toxic fumes.

We are looking for an older truck, rather than new, with an engine that runs as clean as possible on gasoline. We thought we would sell Pete's Dodge truck, Bernadette and the Subaru and use that money to buy a truck to be both towing vehicle and everyday truck.

During the weeks of wild fire smoke the reality of smoke damage to my already taxed-to-max lungs revealed the need to keep our Subaru, Scout. The car has been, and continues to be my other safe room on wheels when the vardo becomes compromised (difficult to be in). That's the thing about being responsible and discerning about power. We have little power over others' choices, and often power over the choices we make create a volatile situation pulling the hinges out of our world of safety.

Earlier in the week Pete began work on replacing the bulging oak siding on the back of the vardo. The work had to be done, but the process created dust and reactivity for me. The inside of the vardo was compromised. Scout was the answer, I could recover in the car.  Scout the Subaru gives us a bit of wiggle room in our small space lifestyle from Vardo for Two.

As age, and Environmental Illness manifests, I am reminded how important it is to service my Leo Mars (dramatic actress) regularly, and discerningly. Taking my Mars on adventures is important to let some of that dramatic flare find movement. Mars is moving through the sky now just behind the Leo Sun. The Solar Eclipse in Leo will affect my Mars, and that of every one else. All things considered a stop at the full service gas station -- in whatever form it takes, sounds like a good thing.

Are you following? Understand? 

We're on our way north for a small road trip to deliver just-picked juicy blackberries to friends. Our friends live on the shore facing west.  That's good service to Mars we think.

We did deliver blackberries to fun friends. The sound of the tide washing over the rocks was such a lullaby. In exchange for blackberries we were rewarded with visits from seals or a sea lion (he looked mighty big) and this story about How Raven Made the Tides. Thank you Teri and Martin.

xoxo
Moki and Pete

`Aha Update #17: On the way to Elsewhere

O na hoku no na kui o ka lani. 

The stars are the spies of heaven.

The stars look down on everyone and everything. - 'Olelo No'eau

 "Mercury, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto will all be retrograde from August 12th until August 25th, when Saturn turns direct.  This doesn’t bode well if you’re wanting fast resolution to some problem in your life..." Elsa P.

While I sit at the keys, I hear Pete at the wringer; he's washing our bed sheet. A few minutes ago we were both outside walking between the vardo and the hale (this building). We had just taken down Mama Sing's quilt that has shielded the sun-side of the vardo. Pete was behind me and let out a loud 'whoa'! Raven flew within a few feet above me on his way to somewhere. I'd caught a glimpse of Raven slipping into the trees before we started quilt removal but it was Pete who got the 'spotting'.

"I am in the Grieving Place for a time. When the Moon was last New I believed it was possible to return to the Home Place. It is less than an Anahulu -- ten moon phases away, in travel. But, my youthful self, is not the one must make that crossing ... and instead it is to ELSEWHERE I go as Kupuna the elder. From my small home on wheels, like a land turtle, my mate and I must tuck all those language lessons in a safe place within and exchange a give-and-take with the places we do meet a rightful, respectful 'How do you do?" My teacher Pualani Kanaka'ole Kanahele left me with a story, "Live the myth, unlock the metaphor." I'll keep doing that where I find myself." -  a comment left on Terri Windling's blog post "The Mnemonics of Words" "

I think perhaps the ongoing relationship we have grown with the big black bird has something to do with how Raven and those who have a long intimacy with this place feed us experience. As a writer of myth and a woman hybrid -- a Hawaiian not living on the Hawaiian Islands, but connected in every other sense of being Hawaiian the lesson so often comes from the truly indigenous. Raven has been that indigenous. He showed up when medicine stories were freshly grounding me to this Salish Island. While I pulled down the messages the stars could see the tap root that is my genetic earth connection bubbled up. Trickster and teacher, the big black bird knows his place and the places in between. Some would name that place Elsewhere. In the writing of words that cross borders with protocol built-in, Raven fed me the language to travel to Elsewhere.

Just moments ago Pete and I hosted a special Front Porch `Aha. We drank warm Stinging Nettle Infusions and ate warm berry and oat bars while talking about the revised version of Vardo for Two heading home. "This makes sense," said our friend giving us the reassurance we need to continue heading south for warmth. We shared the story of Raven's latest in flight message. Between them our friend and Raven were the 'aha, the strong rope to measure the corner posts for home; not the destination, but the sense of being (home). Thank you both.

Raven reminded me:

"We cross borders without regard, ignorant or arrogant of the protocol native to the transitional spaces that take us from this place to that place. Traditions remembered and practiced would maintain and pass along the right things to do, at the right time, and in the right frame of mind. Have we all become wanderers with passports un-stamped with the memory of teachings from the Ancestors and Nature? There are rituals to remember and common magic to induce respect for the beings and places that share this planet."  - The Introduction to  "The Safety Pin Cafe"

On Monday, August 21, 2017 we will go to the water's edge, at 10 in the morning, to The Muliwai and remember the rituals at the borders respectfully going from one place to another.

xoxo
Moki and Pete  

`Aha Update #16: One of these days (edited)*

The signs of seasonal change are happening: fallen maple leaves, undeniable coolness in the morning air, and a quickening in temperament. 

Our wish to 'head home to Hawaii' has been amended. Is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing? It grieves us to feel the difficulty in experiencing the amended answer, but, it's better to know before we get there: I can't breathe when vog or wild fire smoke reigns. 

"Are you going? Are you really going?" They wonder. 

"Yes," said Turtle with a calm surety. "Matter of fact I am going now." Her movements are small and slow, and often her activity is all within that dome shell of hers. What does go on there inside that shell?

There are details galore yet to handle, and the pieces of our complex puzzle have been jostled. Like a kaleidoscope the little pieces of colored glass have made a different picture with the same number of pieces. It's kinda like that for me. I wonder if it's quite the same for Pete who was asleep in the vardo as I search for the story that is mine to express. Now that he is awake, the story includes one very small piece, more. You see the story is never over, until it's over.

That piece has been missing for years. Pete found it yesterday when he sorted the garage and touched everything in his tool box. There in the top shelf, upper right, was that small, missing bit of trim. Essential? Maybe.*

We have made our wishes public, and shared them with our community, and here on Vardo for Two. The process of transparency; we have nothing to hide:) It's a messy process this, but we try to keep our wits about us and not burn bridges or shoot ourselves in the foot as we process good byes. 

Just after we finished building Vardo for Two Julie Genser interviewed us. We were freshly reborn to a new version of life. Much of what we described in the interview is still true for us; but, somethings have changed.  The environment changes, we kilo we notice, and then innovate from the comfort of our own tiny front porch. That's something!

Something very special happens when all the former definitions of your self, your security, your entitlements change. If you live to tell the story that special something is REBIRTH. Our journey is that, a piecing or peacing together of many 1) thoughts and beliefs, 2) emotions and feelings and 3) intuitive knowing. – Mokihana from the July 10, 2009  Interview "A Gypsy Life: Notes from the Diaspora" with Julie Genser 

One of These Days
Written by Mathhew Herschler and John Cruz

(Listen to John Cruz singing "One of These Days" )

One of these days in my own front yard I'm gonna sit on my porch and rock Walk on by if you see me sitting there Or you can stop and talk One of these days Some folks think that living is sleeping in the city Bringing home buckets of cash Others, we're happy just sitting back Not thinking 'bout who's coming in last Me I just don't know where all the bustle's gonna lead Got a bunch of nothing happening fast But there's one thing I know, whether we go fast or slow One of these days in my own front yard Gonna sit on my porch and rock Walk on by if you see me sitting there Or you can stop and talk One of these days in my own front yard Gonna sit on my porch and rock Walk on by if you see me sitting there Or you can stop and talk One of these days Some folks think that living is sleeping in the city Bringing home buckets of cash Others, we're happy just sitting back Not thinking 'bout who's coming in last Me I just don't know where all the bustle's gonna lead Got a bunch of nothing happening fast But there's one thing I know, whether we go fast or slow One of these days One of these days in my own front yard Gonna sit on my porch and rock Walk on by if you see me sitting there Or you can stop and talk One of these days Can you relate? Thanks for following the updates, and being the strong rope (`aha) in our lives. xoxo Mokihana and Pete

`Aha Update #15: "Storytellers ought not to be too tame."

"Storytellers ought not to be too tame. They ought to be wild creatures who function adequately in society. They are best in disguise. If they lose all their wildness, they cannot give us the truest joys."
- Ben Okri

 "Dedicated to Martha, the last of the Carrier Pidgeons ... "

Mishkos Kenomagwen: The Teachings of Grass | Bioneers

 Robin Wall Kimmerer

Radio Aurora

For listening to medicine story

PUANA KA `IKE / Webcasts Lecture Series

To listen and see storytellers 

"Living the myth and unlocking the metaphor"

Pualani Kanaka'ole Kanahele

`Aha Update #14: Living between, Interstitial Art

"Saturday afternoon/evening, Virgo Mercury pivots retrograde. It heads back into trine with retrograde Juno, rethinking our commitments. Communications may stumble, but never forget: Everything is information, informative. What may seem mundane can be very telling. Think less in terms of good or bad, and more to the tune of what you want to last. What would you like to correct going forward?" - Satori

Late yesterday, just before sunset Ao returned, REAL Clouds returned. I've told my husband Pete that it's my wish to come back in the next life as clouds. So the sighting above was such a sweet site! "What may seem mundane can be very telling," as Satori wrote in her weekend astrological forecast. The wild fire smoke is beginning to clear, the color of the sun and moon are more usual, more normal to our sensibilities and sensitivities. A mundane and telling bit of kilo to observe and mark: the clouds signal change to come. Have faith. And, make note of what is real at the same time. It's one thing to wish for something because we want it and another to note what is real because it is.

The planet Mercury begins his appearing backward movement over the next three weeks today, Saturday. By the Kaulana Mahina the Hawaiian Moon Calendar the three phases of 'Ole, those weed, rest, review 'no new projects' times begin today as well. The regular and cyclical pause times are here. Wheww, what a relief. These have been ruckus times. 

The process of heading home has been blown to shit, our aim is changing, but our faith in change remains intact; fluid like water rather than solid like asphalt. Yesterday before the clouds showed up I had spoons enough to wash a load of clothes. 

In our whirl, there is no washing machine with buttons to push and tumblers to slosh and rinse. Ours is a hands on, in the tub with water and baking soda soak before running through the hand wringer and hanging out to dry. It takes time and energy, and in my case, the energy of two to get a load of wash done. Moki + Pete = laundry done.

Slow. Deliberate. Low impact. Spoons required. 

While my sink of dirty duds soaked I asked Pete to haul out the two boxes of all the clothes I own. 

"Time to go through them all," I said mustering energy I didn't realize was there.

Stacked in cardboard boxes on his end of this metal and cement block building we call The Hale (pronounced ha-lay) Pete pulled out the contents only he could identify. There were all the clothes I own that aren't on me now.

I sorted fearlessly. Only two choices: keep or toss. No looking back. In the near future we need to store no more. This time we travel and stay lightened up. I think that's the point we're at right now --living between. I like the word "interstitial." Another way to look at it is Hawaiian; "mawaena" in between time.

"The word interstitial means "between spaces", and is commonly used to denote "in-betweenness" in several different cultural contexts. Architects refer to the leftover gaps between building walls as "interstitial space", being neither inside any room nor outside the building. Medical doctors have used the term for hundreds of years to refer to a space within the human body that lies in between blood vessels and organs, or in between individual cells. Television station programmers refer to any short piece of content that is neither a show nor a commercial, but is sandwiched between them, as "an interstitial".

The Wikipedia definition continues,

" How art can be interstitial? Take fiction as an example: If a librarian isn't sure where to shelve a book, that may be because the material is interstitial in some way, not fitting comfortably into a single, conventional literary category. For instance, when novelist Laurell K. Hamilton first began writing and publishing romances featuring vampires and fairies, bookstores faced a dilemma: How do you file these stories when you're working in a system that clearly labels one shelf for romances, a second shelf for fantasies, and a third shelf for tales of horror? There's no single, obvious answer, because such a novel is interstitial fiction, its essence residing somewhere in between the boundaries of these genres.
Or consider the performance artist Laurie Anderson: She might go onstage and sing, tell a spoken-word story, project shadow puppets on a screen, and play a hacked violin whose bow is strung with audio tape. Is she a singer, a monologist, a puppeteer, or some kind of tinkering instrumentalist? Classifying such an act as interstitial performance art would be imprecise but efficient and accurate..."

The weeks of real life with the vog-like smoke of hundreds, maybe thousands of acres of wild fire created a blow things up reality check for us. VOG is a present reality in Hawaii; we knew this but wanted so much to believe we could work again it. 'Aue, alas ... We cannot wish to be living on the Hawaiian Islands without having REAL SUPPORT-PEOPLE-LANDING. It is not enough to wish it true. We have different choices to make now.

I have tossed a box filled with clothes I will never use again. That was progress.

I have one more box to sort, and that will be more progress.

Today begins the three moon phases of 'Ole, more time to sort and toss and keep what we want going forward. We prime the pump with faith and tattoo this sign somewhere to see often:

We aim for that brilliant light that comes midday Monday, August 21, 2017 ... to shed more light. We are in between change. How goes it for you in your whirl? 

Hope these updates give you a look at our uniquely tortoise-like process of living and tinkering with Environmental Illness for real? It's art, interstitial art.

If the updates have you swirling, please be patient we're sorting laundry:)

Much aloha xoxo,

Mokihana and Pete  

`Aha Update #13: South Whidbey Tilth and Slow Food Whidbey Group Pictures

We wanted to get a group picture of the folks who have made a place for us to play, do fix-um's and tell stories without the worry of pesticides; but with an openness to being fragrance-free. It took awhile to get us all in one place, but it was worth it.

Thanks so much for the memories to these people and this place.

Aloha,
Moki and Pete

`Aha Update #12: Aiming for the light New Moon and Solar Eclipse, August 21, 2017

"... Astrologically, the house where the eclipse lands will be highly energized.  Leo is a Fire sign, but you can also see Mars is nearby along with the n. node. I see creative drive in this chart. A desire to feel and to be vitally alive. (The solar eclipse happens on the New Moon, the dark moon is also a time when intentions for the coming lunar cycle of approximately 30 days can be set.)

Elsa continues, "I expect the lights to go out. I intend to be infused with light and energy when they come back on.  The emphasis is not on the darkness but on the brilliance!" - Elsa on the Solar Eclipse August 21, 2017 (read Elsa's entire post, which includes ideas for setting intentions based on where the eclipse is in your chart.)

The Leo solar eclipse takes place in my 8th House of legacy, heredity, death and rebirth; Pete will experience that eclipse in his 12th House of intuition, secrets, dreams. Taking clues from astrology, and Elsa Panizzon's point of view, that the emphasis is not on the darkness but on the brilliance after sun and moon separate I'm putting the astrology and kilo (paying attention Hawaiian/Pacific Island style) onto this 'aha update.

• Solar eclipse in the 8th house: Light up dark places, fearlessly.
• Solar eclipse in the 12th: Share your light and positive energy with others; particularly those who may be suffering.

It's too easy to live in fear when Environmental Illness is your reality. No, it's not something you 'get from me.' Just as a wall won't keep poverty on that side, not yours. A medical diagnosis (which I paid for ... how odd is that) set me and Pete onto the path of being Mauliauhonua a family intimate with where we live. Where do we live? For a pair like us, we live on the edge, on the border, and in between the micro and the macro. In this sort of life, we become very intimate with all the parts of Earth that other humans either don't see or won't see. We kilo, we observe everything because our survival depends on it. All indigenous (people intimate with their place) live this way.

As we clear out our self inflicting distractions as well as the wandering distraction of invading beliefs about who and what Environmental Illness is I like this bit of kilo:

One of my mother's favorite expression was "Piss on it." Other moms might have said, "Don't cast your pearls before swines." Here's what another astrologist, Rob Brezny is recommending for us Scorpio's.

" Some zoos sell the urine of lions and tigers to gardeners who sprinkle it in their gardens. Apparently the stuff scares off wandering house cats that might be tempted to relieve themselves in vegetable patches. I nominate this scenario to be a provocative metaphor for you in the coming weeks. Might you tap into the power of your inner wild animal so as to protect your inner crops? Could you build up your warrior energy so as to prevent run-ins with pesky irritants? Can you call on helpful spirits to ensure that what's growing in your life will continue to thrive? "

To end this update, here is a powerful song introduced to me by Terri Windling, writer, editor, muse and author of the blog on mythic life Myth & Moor. The song is  entitled "Why we build the Wall"
and is sung by Anais Mitchell. It was written a decade ago, but is as relevant today as ever. Even more important then to keep a light on and aim for enlightenment.

Here's a personal  INVITATION

Monday, August 21, 2017

10:00 A.M.

Join Pete and Me 

at 

"The Muliwai"

(This is Sunlight Beach Public Access on the West side of Whidbey Island. The public access is about half way down Sunlight Beach Road. Look to the water side of the road, and a smaller than the usual home there, brick-red in color with a white lettered sign "STOVERS" OR "STOWERS". The driveway is next to that red house.)

While the tide is going out and while the Moon moves into her eclipsing position of the Sun

Bring your Eclipse Glasses, and/or your Flash light if you have 'em :)

P.S. Please come as fragrance free as you can be.

If the wild fire smoke is still too debilitating for you as it is for me, 

I may be setting my intention from Vardo for Two. But perhaps the sky will have cleared. We'll kilo.

Hope to see you at The Muliwai.

xoxo

Mokihana and Pete

`Aha Update #11.5: "Mask in place before helping others"

"There is no cure for this, there are things that will help. You'll have to avoid everything that makes you sick. It will change your life. This is called MCS Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, or Environmental Illness." - The medical diagnosis I was given ten years ago 

Pete and I both felt the 'course correction' as surely as an earthquake. The funny thing about course corrections is a step to one side or the other is a correction, as much as an about face. What is happening for me is living through the real-time experience of putting on my oxygen mask to keep on. Period.

Yesterday we tried to outrun the wild fire smoke by taking a drive in Scout, the Subaru. The A.C. helps filter the air, and I was also using oxygen. This tactic helped just enough for us to realize the further north we drove the thicker the smoke. (The forests of British Columbia are burning. The wind was blowing from the north.)

"There's no outrunning this one, honey." This was Pete talking. Roger that! We made a course correction and headed home. On the way home we drove along the water on the western side of Whidbey.

"Isn't that where our friend lives?" I'm never real sure where I am on the back roads.

"Yeh, just up the road."

"Can we stop there, I'd like to leave her a check for the cards I bought." Our friend is in the process of raising funds for her safe nest. She also lives with severe chemical sensitivities plus.

"Sure."

Pete found the house and pulled a U at the end of the road and parked. With my face mask on I walked across the street and up to the door, and knocked. Our friend's mom answered. I asked if this is where our friend lived.

"Yes, she is my daughter."

I explained that I had a check for cards I had bought.

"Oh, yes. Thank you." The woman pulled her glasses from her face and looked at my check. "Yvonne."

I answered with a smile under my mask, "She knows me as Mokihana."

"Oh," that seemed to ring a bell for her. "Mokihana and Pete. I know Pete. My daughter's got her mask on today, too."

I left without seeing our friend, and left knowing something. The 'diagnosis' I received 10 years ago did change my life in the countless minute and about face course corrections in a given day, let alone 365 days x 10. What happened yesterday when Pete and I realized we could not outrun this wild fire smoke? It shifted me into L. Low Gear. The slow down Gear.

The slow down and be grateful gear. We couldn't and didn't outrun the environment, and haven't outrun Environmental Illness in these 10 years. But. What we did yesterday was stop along the way to help, with my mask in place.

That's something.

We can slowly keep on that way. The destination is still not clear, course corrections abound, and our mileage varies as my favorite astrologer Satori loves to say.

It's far less lonely this way and THAT is what Pete and I are aiming for.

P.S.
xo J.
P.S.S.
xo Elaine, you are the wind beneath our wings, mahalo nui!

Hang in there with us.
Love,
Moki and Pete

`Aha Update #11 "Ke ala a ke Ku'uku'u" The way of the spider

This title and post was an article originally published on my old blog, Makua o'o, on September 24, 2012. That blog was my first, written to complement Vardo for Two (the original). Vardo for Two chronicled the building of the physical new definition of "a home"; writing Makua o'o reminded me that the spiritual journey as elder in training--for that is what makua o'o means in Hawaiian, is a constant practice. The practice is ongoing.

What prompted me to revisit Ke ala a ke Ku'uku'u? The events of the past few days, and in particular the experience of living with the effects of wild fire smoke sent me searching for kupuna wisdom, elder wisdom. In some traditions across the Earth, 70 is the age of elder infancy, you know some things but there is still much more to life yet to understand. I went searching for an elder further on the path for something good to chew on. I found The Path of the Spider, and Aunty Betty, the kumu and elder who first introduced me and mentored me.

At almost 70 I am barely an infant elder. I look to the source to find my balance as the sand shifts beneath our feet. We scramble to make adjustments, some illusions have been blown up with the Lunar Eclipse yesterday; no clear alternatives yet. " Illusions destroyed. We think we want something, but we’re totally missing out. Why? Because we have it defined all wrong. We’re shooting at the wrong target. In order to get what will truly satisfy, we’re going to have to blow shit up and go on faith." - Satori

Read the original article "Ke ala a ke Ku'uku'u", and learn a little about kumu and elder my teacher Aunty Betty Kawohiokalani Jenkins. Grandmother Spider is an ancient teacher, I look to her for some clues.

What was the Lunar Eclipse like for you?

`Aha Update #10 Letting go, loosening up

"... This is a path correction. Joseph Campbell talked of finding your own path, blazing your own trail. He said if the path was clear, you were probably on someone else’s path. We have times like these to tear the blinders off and see where we’re getting off path..." - a snip from Satori's Weekend Love Forecast, Heading into the Eclipse(August 7, 2017)

When we lived in Hilo, we bought the Subaru. She was brand new. Around that same time our 'ohana, Kaliko and her friend were in Hilo for a workshop. They stayed over night with us, and brought us two brand new, bright yellow t-shirts. Those t-shirts are the same ones Pete used to clean Scout, our Subaru. Getting ready to let our first 'road home' go. It seems fitting to include both ends of that t-shirt's history here as the latest '``Aha Update. Kuleana in Hawaiian means your responsibility, your destiny.

If this weekend's astrology IS a path correction, that might allow for ambling back to Hilo. Pela, paha, perhaps.

Remember this Kaliko??

More very short videos. This time "Pete cleans Scout"

A lot of scrubbing (using baking soda diluted in water and a spray bottle of white vinegar diluted) and equal parts humor. We're having fun with these very short video. Are you?

`Aha Update #9: Becoming Mauliauhonua (family intimate with their place)

Red is the color of the sunset

(reflected too, in the skins of Fir and Hemlock)

So red hard to look at

Eyes not meant for

such red.

The forest fires smoke the air, sucking the oxygen from it making it difficult for breathing. I wonder as I write whether it is any less, or maybe, more difficult for the trees to breath. As they sense the burning of their relations, their kin, is there not grief there?

Pete drove me out to The Tilth this morning to gather a few more Mullein Blossoms from our friend Kristen's lovely garden. I am making ear soothing oil from the simple, and gently sedating golden blossoms. A few drops of this oil, though best after 6 weeks, is a comfort to the ears even after a week or two. I am finding the oil a helpful remedy for the smoke's effect on my very generously built ears:)

And, if you would like to read how the oil is also slipping into the making of myth you might enjoy going here. (This myth will become a comic book that I am writing and illustrating, and a Reward for donors when we finally launch our crowdfunding campaign.)

Enjoy a few very short videos of "Mullein Blossom Oil Making"

The process of creating safe passage for Vardo for Two is truly a long-term experience. It is the process of makawalu, analysis. Not quick, and very mindful. We keep open to the clues, and become Mauliauhonua. 

What is Mauliauhonua?

Our kumu teacher Kalei Nu'uhiwa defined Mauliauhonua this way:

1. Learning and utilizing the Kaulana Mahina to note monthly, seasonal and cyclical occurrences. 

Whenever possible our decisions and timing for activity is focused on the Kaulana Mahina.   As an example, we gathered for our first Front Porch `Aha on one of the Full Moons. Then, gathered again to set our intention to ask for Safe Passage for Vardo for Two on the New Moon. We are conscious about not doing new projects, or taking on major enterprise during the po 'ole.

2. Kilo - Making observations. Paying attention and noting what is happening around you.

Kilo is our tap root of daily practice. We kilo everything! This can be overwhelming if you shove all that you observe into yourself all at once, and all the time. That's where the po 'ole comes in very very handy. Smart, our kupuna. They lived wise timing.

3.Collecting your observations and correlating them with the Kaulana Mahina establishes your own foundational understanding of your surroundings. Over time you will be able to see the normal or abnormal trends that are occurring to which you can make adjustments to your practice.

This blog, is one of the major ways I collect and record what I/we are observing. We began when we were living in 'Scout' our Subaru ... house-less yet in preparation for a much different life; a life as mauliauhonua was beginning.

4. Collecting your own data in your own way. Examples of tools available out there to start your data collection would be to begin keeping observations sheets, logs, journals, composing ʻōlelo noʻeau (proverbs), writing moʻolelo (stories), or composing mele (chant, song).

You can also choose to write ʻōlelo noʻeau to continue the practice of creating traditional databases to transfer your observations on to the next generation.

Collecting data in my own way includes tying many angles into a net(work) that appeals to my environmentally sensitive self; being 'Environmentally Ill' takes on a whole new definition and perspective. 

I compose blog posts, and create mythic versions of the mundane and call them medicine stories. That way the multiple reality is given due respect. My kupuna the elders who came before me did this when they composed proverbs, stories, chant and song. I am perpetuating the practice. 

5. Become Mauliauhonua - "Be the App"
The final component is to work towards becoming the expert in your neighborhood or community. 

This is our aim: "Be the App." While we research what it will take for us to experience 'Safe Passage' with our golden wagon built as a refuge, we remind ourselves that it is a process. A lifelong journey of becoming.  

Hope you enjoy the videos. We do a little, or a lot each day, to make our way toward continuing safe passage with Vardo for Two. Dates and specifics are yet to come, but, we are here and connect with you keeping on this spiral path.

Peace and Love,

Moki and Pete