`Aha Update #23 Time out for Celebrating

Our South Whidbey Tilth Intern Emma (on the left) turns 22 today. A bunch of women baked wonderful treats including carrot cake with cream cheese icing birthday cake. Simply fun times leave a lasting mark. The near 90 degree Sunday Farmers' Market was lit with candles and best wishes. Thank you Prescott for the surprise party.

Happy Birthday, Emma! We are so glad you're here.

`Aha Update #22 Connecting the dots with Common Magic

"Where are you going?" my old friend asked. I wrote back and told her the truth at the time. It was a version of the story ... "We have already been there."

 Imagining we are on the way helped shift something within me: a block, a clock stuck in a kink, a spring too tightly wound? Putting one, or two versions of the truth out there ... out here

 I forgot there are so many other dots on that hinged question ...

Close by and out of site I woke from sleep this morning, out of a dream with old friends a potter, a teacher, other island livers.  I checked the internet to find them like Spider Woman investigating a new arrival on her web.

Somehow the common magic of making a picture that works with no harm to the surroundings, joyfulness and traditions in a contemporary setting

is opening up space for what is missing

What if The Gods' magic is in the common glory of a glass crystal, battered good luck monster, stick people masquerading as pine needle dancers and Pete conjuring early morning infusions?

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.” -- Ben Okri

Amen bruddahs and titas xoxo
Moki and Pete 

`Aha Update #21 Courage and Compassion

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.” ~ Thomas Merton (from "The Value of Our Values" )

'Ike aku, 'ike mai, kokua au kokua mai; pela iho la ka nohona 'ohana.
Recognize and be recongized, help and be helped; such is family life.'Olelo No'eau

Yesterday was one of those days when courage, faith and hope were missing in action. The smallest disappointment sent me over the edge and onto futon for hours of restorative sleep. Mine was a fitful sleep more a dive into murky water than calming reassurance. My belly churned from processing more than I could chew. Impatience forced me forward even though I had no spoons left. "So many broken dreams," I moaned.

On the way to the doorway of sleep old teachers, comforting lessons waited just on the other side. I remembered a poem I found the other day. The poem was not one of mine. I included it at the end of a column written in the Hawaii Island Journal to mark the one year anniversary of my trip to Hiroshima. Many friends, Pete and I folded a thousand cranes that year. I had the paper birds boxed and addressed for mailing to the Sadako Sasaki Peace Memorial Celebration. A friend and flight attendant who flew between Honolulu and Japan surprised me with two tickets to Hiroshima. We would hand deliver those 1,000 folded cranes.

The atomic bomb destroyed a nation killing more than a 100,000 people in Hiroshima and 80,000 in nearby Nagasaki. A young Japanese school girl named Sadako was among those who died 10 years after the nuclear bombing of 1945. It was her story and her legacy that motivated the folding of those origami cranes.

The trip (my first and last to Japan) was a miracle -- full of surprises as is so often true of miracles. I had severely injured the ligaments in my lower back days before the scheduled trip and was in a lot of pain. Until the very last minute I was not sure I could make that flight. Others came to my aid, encouraging me, helping to make it possible: one of my yoga students loaned me a magnetic pad to ease the discomfort; once on board the flight the crew (friends of my companion) upgraded us to First-Class so I was able to fly on my back for the eleven hour journey. The people of Hiroshima were wonderful. I spoke no Japanese, but they spoke compassion and when they saw the pain in my face they offered me healing ointments and extra delicious soba (buckwheat noodles) in a succulent broth.

"Broken Dreams"

By Lauretta P. Burns

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend.
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my Friend.

But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could You be so slow"-
"My child," He said,
"What could I do? You never did let go."

That experience took courage on my part and it also took letting go long enough to allow the miracle to find its way to me. All these years later I see the history of choices and opportunity mirrored in the challenges Pete and I face now. The remnant  pain of that old back injury returns when life gets difficult. I recoil as I think of the smell of the strong smelling ointment I rubbed into my back. Yet the kindness of strangers and the unforgettable energy my friend and I shared with thousands of other human beings committed to no more A-Bomb is a commitment I live undiluted.

Our broken dream of moving back to Hawaii? We manifested that dream when I was 60 and recently diagnosed with Environmental Illness/Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. Once again that same friend helped with tickets to and from Seattle to Honolulu. But old ways of engaging with life quickly revealed an ill-fitting daily reality. I needed oxygen to fly, and living in rental houses proved impossible. We slept in our car in parking lots, driveways and a front yard. Forcing a dream into old skin proved to be an activity of desperation.

It is not such an unconnected illness being sensitive to the environment that has been tampered with nuclear bombs. The chemistry of atomic weaponry does not disappear nor do the effects of those extremely intense compounds safely break-down. The same chemicals and extreme attitude regarding power mark us all. Our attitudes would need to change as much as our knowledge of Environment Illness. Change is slow, and compassion for ourselves and for others so easy to dismiss. Is our current dream to travel to Elsewhere a lesser destination than home to Hawaii?

Perhaps the ghosts of past dreams broken yet waiting are offering new miracles. When I woke from yesterday's fitful afternoon sleep I had just let go long enough to see another point of view. I sensed the miracle and called my son.

"Podcasts," I said after we greeted each other with me sobbing through sorrow still freshly transforming. "Let's record those Hawaii Island Journal columns into podcasts. What do you think?" I asked.

"Yeah," Christopher said.  We've been talking about collaboration on podcasts and now we had a specific body of work to play with. It will take upgrading my skills as writer and blogger to do this and at the same time it will plant a new seed of resourcefulness for both of us. It will keep evidence of courage and compassion alive to serve again.

Writing these `Aha Updates and researching how to create a Crowdfunding campaign (which has changed in focus but will launch in early September) are giving me the practice I need to hone and reinvent my skills to survive and thrive. Being poor in America is tricky business. Being poor with Environmental illness? That takes a miracle and bits of practical magic.

While I spoke with my son in the vardo Pete was adjusting to his recent changes: retirement from a long term job, preparing to sell Bernadette the 66 Dodge truck that has served so many.  We process change differently my husband and I. Together the journey is always interesting, and neither one of us is as full without the other.

A page from the zine I am illustrating and writing to record The Way to Elsewhere.

Bernadette the '66 Dodge truck now for sale.

In the heavens Saturn will begin moving forward tomorrow, Friday, August 25, 2017 after a long and grinding retrograde that began April 6, 2017. Saturn is an 'outer planet' and therefore a slow moving but collectively felt influence. When Saturn turns direct I will make connection with a friend of a friend who lives in a pristine Northern California location five miles inland from the California coast. She is family to a long-time friend. We are on the way to Elsewhere, that destination not named on maps. With the help of others the fuel for miracles can be a manifestation of 'having your back' or 'being the cushion' to a difficult stretch. Wish us luck with this connection.

Infused with the memories of compassion and connection with strangers on the way to Hiroshima, I am reminded that it takes courage to change. I remember also that the injury to my back in August, 2002 resulted when my newly developing skill as a yoga teacher was led by ego rather than union. Yoga means "union." I had abused my power and broke myself. I continue to learn about power and am humbled by my lessons again and again.

In memory of a young Japanese schoolgirl named Sadako I fold these words like origami and put them here. Special thanks to Peggy for the miraculous experience to and from Hiroshima from Honolulu.

Peace.
Mokihana and Pete

  

`Aha Update #20: Interdependence, Open to the signs, The Gift of Pelicans

"... Wednesday, Cancer Venus perfects its trine to Chiron. Thursday Venus’ square to Uranus is exact. Healthy desire requires growth and understanding. Sometimes that condition sparks a sharp turn that takes people by surprise...Wednesday the Moon pulls past square to Saturn and into sextile with Venus. Let the warmth of the day soak into your skin and make your senses bloom. Later Wednesday the Moon moves to Venus-ruled Libra and a square to retrograde Juno in Capricorn. The scents don’t last, but our memories of them will. It’s possible to create a lasting ver[s]ion from imagination. Or at least an impression to follow and build on."- Satori

Pelicans are new to me except in picture books or cartoons. My first experience with living, flying Pelicans happened a month ago. Yesterday as Pete, Doodles, Hope and I walked the long stretch of beach at The Muliwai a family of 6 plus 4 American White Pelicans circled above us. They were high in the sky, but their flight signature --a straight line, was recognizable. Maybe it was that same family the resident Pelicans who now make Whidbey their home place. The brief video above was my excitable response to yesterday's visitation.

I am a Scorpio, looking for clues is hard-wired into my nature like Doyle's Sherlock Holmes. As with Sir Arthur Canon Doyle's fictional sleuth my scent for mysteries is so often multi-faceted. A seemingly unrelated event will send me sideways or into deep water to make sense or string clues together. The Leo Solar Eclipse was more about walking the beach and being with water (we three humans represented the three Water Signs of the Zodiac) than staring into the heavens to watch Father Sun and Mother Moon making love. (That's just bad manners.)

Six American White Pelicans riding the thermals above Sunlight Beach, "The Muliwai" in Washington

This morning I am in my sleuth mode, considering the events of the visitation from Pelicans and the slow unfolding journey to Elsewhere. Our friend Hope and I walked side-by-side and at one point she asked how our plans were coming.

"We've made changes." I explained how the wild fire smoke was an undeniable message about our wish to return to Hawaii where vog is ever present especially on Hawaii moku where Pele is busy making new land.  Pete added the news he discovered about the recent Hawaii PUC (Public Utilities Commission) approval of the HuHonua plans to chip and burn thousands of acres of eucalyptus trees to power the island of Hawaii. The eucalyptus plantation and site for the burning is Pepeekeo on the Hamakua Coast not far north of Hilo on the opposite of the island from the activity of Pele (the volcano). In our fondest dream it could have been the Hamakua Coast that we would tow Vardo for Two. 

The gods have something else, an Elsewhere, in mind for us. My morning investing led to thoughts about Pelicans. And this point of view:

"I have been experiencing the cooperative aspect of pelican energy while writing about them. In late February my wrist broke after falling on ice hidden by powder. Independence became interdependence. I deeply appreciated the example of animals getting what they need, in some cases without hand-like extremities. In pelicans, bills act like hands and tools, even as a food basket! ... This interdependence with others is a precursor of the kind of cooperation in community that will increase in the future. As earth changes like the earthquakes in Haiti and Japan, and the floods in Pakistan and Australia continue as the Mother rightfully rebalances herself, we must all pull together caring about each other in the reality of Oneness. Do you work well in conjunction with others? White pelicans hunt and feed cooperatively while afloat together. In synchronized swimming, they herd schools of small fish into a cove or surround the school in a tight net. All will dip their beaks into the water at the same time as they advance. They even sunbathe in synchrony. It is not unusual to see a flock all facing the sun, heads back, bills tilted toward the sky..."- Wisdom Magazine 

As we continued our beach walk I asked our friend about her casita in Mexico. "Where is your casista?" I asked. 

"Sayulita," she said. Hope described the location of the village on Mexico's Pacific Coast and then pulled up videos on her iphone of  Sayulita waves rolling into shore while the sun set on the horizon. The sound of waves activated an old longing. I remembered backstroking across ocean water. My belly hummed.

"When you go there do you fly?" I continued feeling the fire building in my belly.

"Yes." She said. I wondered if there was another way

I asked, "Have you ever driven there?"

"No, but friends have done it." She was feeding that fire of Hope. (That's her job.)

"If you think you'd like to drive there with your home I could talk with friends about being able to camp on the land." The fire blazed just a bit more. I looked at Pete the Cancerian who was pulling into that shell of his (That's what crabs do when they need protection.) 

He mumbled, "I'm going to Canada." That's not south, nor warm I thought to myself.

When the Pelicans showed up minutes later flying in a southward path, that whooping was the combined 'WHAT IF, WHY NOT?' of two little water women fanning the flames of new definitions. The scent of those new definitions are newly informing me. I have long wished to visit and perhaps live in Mexico for so many reasons.  The astrology for this week of the Solar Eclipse in Leo include this from Satori, "The scents don’t last, but our memories of them will. It’s possible to create a lasting ver[s]ion from imagination. Or at least an impression to follow and build on." 

Perhaps the Pelicans know something we don't. The mystery, the game is afoot. Throughout this summer of weighing out the wishes and the healthy doses of mundane reality, there is always the presence of messengers: Raven, Pelican, Squirrel, Hope. Satori's horoscope above cautions her readers "Healthy desire requires growth and understanding. Sometimes that condition sparks a sharp turn that takes people by surprise." We are right where we are now grateful for life as it is. 

There are details dangling left right, north and south; and growth takes time. Wasn't it Donella Meadows  one of my heroines who observed 'Nature's pace is slow to medium?" Elsewhere knows where it is. Do we know the way? Not exactly, but we have a scent or sense of it and the Pelicans have come two New Moons in a row. In the company of others, seems the message. Interdependent. Go where you and Pete and Vardo for Two can be interdependent.

Environmental Illness or MCS and interdependence seems a contradiction in terms. Isolation too frequent a reality. Pelican seed us with your wisdom. Feed us from that abundant bill and pouch of yours. We are open to learn, really we are.

Have you any experiences with Pelican?

xoxo Moki and Pete

Pelican related links that might interest you:
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/symbolic-pelican-meaning.html
http://balancedwomensblog.com/animal-spirit-guide-pelican/

`Aha Update #19: New Moon and Solar Eclipse in Leo, Beyond Words

`Aha Update #18: A Servicing Mars Story

"... Mars is the bomb. No matter what you want to do, what you think about doing, feel like doing, what you DO relates to your Mars. This makes it really important to know your Mars and learn to service it so that it performs the way you wish in your finer moments. Where is your Mars? Are you volatile? " - " Power, responsibility and volatility", Satori

When Pete and I were kids the service station was a real full deal. Gas was around 17-19 cents a gallon when we both started driving. My oldest memory of a service station: Hide's (pronounce "he-day's")Service Station on old Waialae Avenue in Kahala before the freeway and before all that is Kahala now. Pete's two older brothers were grease monkeys at gas stations; 'mechanic apprenticeship' for guys in the 1950's.

Things have changed since Hideo and his sister Grace sold gas, checked every thing under the hood and knew everyone who pulled up at the pump.

As Pete and I juggle what it takes for us to act on the details and circumstances of our move to Elsewhere the astrology and the mundane reality of life on the road in 2017 led me back to the old service station. To get from here to Elsewhere we are literally fingering and revisiting the choices and the challenges that got us here.

Pete has cleared most of two garages worth of this and that's--essential nuts and bolts, for a man who sees value in little bits of cedar and unmatched but usable hinges; isn't afraid to pack out other people's trash, and will show up with his truck and shovel when a friend's favorite goat passes on. "Need some help with that?"

This is a man who will take time to dicker prices on the proper screw rather than pay package price for a bag of mystery hardware.

To move ourselves and Vardo for Two we will need to find a truck powerful enough to haul 3,500+ pounds reliably. It is also not enough to be powerful, the truck has to be fragrance-free enough for Pete to drive long distances without getting whacked by fragrance or toxic fumes.

We are looking for an older truck, rather than new, with an engine that runs as clean as possible on gasoline. We thought we would sell Pete's Dodge truck, Bernadette and the Subaru and use that money to buy a truck to be both towing vehicle and everyday truck.

During the weeks of wild fire smoke the reality of smoke damage to my already taxed-to-max lungs revealed the need to keep our Subaru, Scout. The car has been, and continues to be my other safe room on wheels when the vardo becomes compromised (difficult to be in). That's the thing about being responsible and discerning about power. We have little power over others' choices, and often power over the choices we make create a volatile situation pulling the hinges out of our world of safety.

Earlier in the week Pete began work on replacing the bulging oak siding on the back of the vardo. The work had to be done, but the process created dust and reactivity for me. The inside of the vardo was compromised. Scout was the answer, I could recover in the car.  Scout the Subaru gives us a bit of wiggle room in our small space lifestyle from Vardo for Two.

As age, and Environmental Illness manifests, I am reminded how important it is to service my Leo Mars (dramatic actress) regularly, and discerningly. Taking my Mars on adventures is important to let some of that dramatic flare find movement. Mars is moving through the sky now just behind the Leo Sun. The Solar Eclipse in Leo will affect my Mars, and that of every one else. All things considered a stop at the full service gas station -- in whatever form it takes, sounds like a good thing.

Are you following? Understand? 

We're on our way north for a small road trip to deliver just-picked juicy blackberries to friends. Our friends live on the shore facing west.  That's good service to Mars we think.

We did deliver blackberries to fun friends. The sound of the tide washing over the rocks was such a lullaby. In exchange for blackberries we were rewarded with visits from seals or a sea lion (he looked mighty big) and this story about How Raven Made the Tides. Thank you Teri and Martin.

xoxo
Moki and Pete

`Aha Update #17: On the way to Elsewhere

O na hoku no na kui o ka lani. 

The stars are the spies of heaven.

The stars look down on everyone and everything. - 'Olelo No'eau

 "Mercury, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto will all be retrograde from August 12th until August 25th, when Saturn turns direct.  This doesn’t bode well if you’re wanting fast resolution to some problem in your life..." Elsa P.

While I sit at the keys, I hear Pete at the wringer; he's washing our bed sheet. A few minutes ago we were both outside walking between the vardo and the hale (this building). We had just taken down Mama Sing's quilt that has shielded the sun-side of the vardo. Pete was behind me and let out a loud 'whoa'! Raven flew within a few feet above me on his way to somewhere. I'd caught a glimpse of Raven slipping into the trees before we started quilt removal but it was Pete who got the 'spotting'.

"I am in the Grieving Place for a time. When the Moon was last New I believed it was possible to return to the Home Place. It is less than an Anahulu -- ten moon phases away, in travel. But, my youthful self, is not the one must make that crossing ... and instead it is to ELSEWHERE I go as Kupuna the elder. From my small home on wheels, like a land turtle, my mate and I must tuck all those language lessons in a safe place within and exchange a give-and-take with the places we do meet a rightful, respectful 'How do you do?" My teacher Pualani Kanaka'ole Kanahele left me with a story, "Live the myth, unlock the metaphor." I'll keep doing that where I find myself." -  a comment left on Terri Windling's blog post "The Mnemonics of Words" "

I think perhaps the ongoing relationship we have grown with the big black bird has something to do with how Raven and those who have a long intimacy with this place feed us experience. As a writer of myth and a woman hybrid -- a Hawaiian not living on the Hawaiian Islands, but connected in every other sense of being Hawaiian the lesson so often comes from the truly indigenous. Raven has been that indigenous. He showed up when medicine stories were freshly grounding me to this Salish Island. While I pulled down the messages the stars could see the tap root that is my genetic earth connection bubbled up. Trickster and teacher, the big black bird knows his place and the places in between. Some would name that place Elsewhere. In the writing of words that cross borders with protocol built-in, Raven fed me the language to travel to Elsewhere.

Just moments ago Pete and I hosted a special Front Porch `Aha. We drank warm Stinging Nettle Infusions and ate warm berry and oat bars while talking about the revised version of Vardo for Two heading home. "This makes sense," said our friend giving us the reassurance we need to continue heading south for warmth. We shared the story of Raven's latest in flight message. Between them our friend and Raven were the 'aha, the strong rope to measure the corner posts for home; not the destination, but the sense of being (home). Thank you both.

Raven reminded me:

"We cross borders without regard, ignorant or arrogant of the protocol native to the transitional spaces that take us from this place to that place. Traditions remembered and practiced would maintain and pass along the right things to do, at the right time, and in the right frame of mind. Have we all become wanderers with passports un-stamped with the memory of teachings from the Ancestors and Nature? There are rituals to remember and common magic to induce respect for the beings and places that share this planet."  - The Introduction to  "The Safety Pin Cafe"

On Monday, August 21, 2017 we will go to the water's edge, at 10 in the morning, to The Muliwai and remember the rituals at the borders respectfully going from one place to another.

xoxo
Moki and Pete